Choosing polarities, survey/discussion.

[J.W.]

1.  Despite being raised in an ostensibly STO family unit/childhood environment, I have attracted the attention of and in turn been attracted to STS energies, entities, symbolism, and people for as long as I can remember.  In that sense the STS path is something comfortable and familiar to me, with karmic/spiritual biases leading towards a certain magnetism towards this path.

2.  I don’t think I’ve ever switched in this lifetime, though my placement initially within the middle of the two poles has definitely led to some strife.  With a certain tug of war occurring energetically between the two paths, despite my bias towards the STS ways of thinking.

Unfortunately I bought into the rumors, reputations of, and misunderstandings that cloud and obfuscate the STS path from those who seek it.  This in turn impacted my desire/ability to choose a polarity to work towards for some time before I was begrudgingly pushed into it.  While I was always comfortable with the STS polarity, self hatred and a common belief that the STS path is an “unhealthy” route of “evil” made me desperately cling to my at the time STO sense of identity, fighting my own nature until I eventually gave in.

In truth the STO path is not one unfamiliar to me, because I believe I walked it extensively in a previous life (perhaps lives?).  The switch to STS, while “recent” by a certain standard of perspective, was borne out in a lifetime previous to this one, which in turn created the STS bias I face in my current incarnation.  I view this life/incarnation as an extension/evolution/completion of the decisions and polarizations that occurred with that previous decision.  Though it is a somewhat complex topic of how I may have gotten to that point.

3.  I think my current environment served to give me the balance of perspective needed to make the choice in the first place.  If I’d been born in a more STS oriented environment, I would have likely polarized negatively/more quickly, but it is likely the choice and the strings and realizations attached to making it would not have manifested at all, at least without a significantly greater amount of time.  These realizations/strings in turn ensure a certain added “flavor” to the style of polarization and the circumstances of making the choice in the first place.  So who truly knows what long term effects that could have had?  Change one thing (particularly something as important as this) and you change quite a lot.

This is good insight, 

I also want to touch on a point that a lot of STO are quite paradoxically hypocritical. Something I noticed recently in my spiritual development. 

I realized that many that chooses the STO path hides behind the "righteousness" and tries really hard to be compassionate... But deep inside, I see a hurt and resentment within them that they do not want to show. 

Either if it was from being traumatized by religions, hardship from dealing with societal unfairness, and/or suffering from the cruelty of others. 
STO path or "practitioner" often don't see that there is a paradoxical inverted selfishness in their decision. 

The counter STO entities would do is through ignoring that fact, or sweeping it under the rug of love/light. 

When you lift up that rug though, you can see that the bottom line is that STO entities simply despises suffering. 

Each and every entity of STO "cope" with it uniquely. Whether becoming a "saint" like and "loves" all things, or become a warrior/hero of the light and "save" other-selves. 

The deeper we go into this topic, I wonder if other-selves "see" the separation from being in the light, and acting from one side of the polarity. 

The other "plot twist" of it all, is that STO often do not see the trouble they caused themselves, the sufferings that the path brings to itself. 

We all can witness by simply looking at the "creation" of STO entities often also serves as the harbors for negative consequences. 

The crusade, the inquisition, Ra's attempt to "help" Earth, without fully understanding "how to help." 

The "freedom" of a country that supposedly to be "good" but spawns the most horrific crimes, and murders of children.

But when you bring this to any "supposedly" good folks, they would automatically blame it on "people," on the "devil," on the "negative polarity." 

I am curious if Jesus ever wondered that the goodness he brought the this world also made it a perfect festering ground for some of the most gruesome destruction. 


There is a place, where there are no polarities, when you see both paths as the same, without fear of one or the other, without judgement, or bias, or the need to be "identified" which one you are on. 

A path where you simply look at both, and feel the soft and warm expression of unconditional love. 

When the eye smile, and yet, there are tears.