(07-16-2017, 03:58 PM)sjel Wrote: I must just be deluded to think I know what joy is if I continue to poison my family?
Well time has purpose to keep moments apart in reflecting aspects of the self, we're never a single moment without the others and more what is reflected across the spectrum of time. We see our good sides and bad sides, our strenghts and weaknesses, etc.
I would think that what generates this poison are unhealed wounds mutating a poisonous aura over time. There's no evil that doesn't come from a wound and all are the mirror of One. So, don't be hard on yourself and instead be kind and considerate toward your wounds and weaknesses.