01-26-2010, 10:06 PM
All my life I've usually been mostly to the positive I think... I never really did much good in the 19 years but always no matter what, everyday would be thoughts of wanting to help people. Thoughts of positivity and realms where people live in peace. No matter what it was always day in and day out thoughts of some kind of seeking and helping. If I can sum it up from the LOO when Ra says a complex has something in their potentiation, I guess the positive path for me is in potentiation.
Anyways today I came home from school, it was a good day and I've got back some really high test scores for my winter semester classes. I had the TV on in the background and the movie on was kinda negative. But I was browsing these forums and wasn't watching it, but was reading Fairyfarmgirl's wanderer story.
Before I knew it I had this head ache all around the sides and back of my head and a feeling of just utter want to domination disgust and anger for people and positivity.. I tried so hard to think good thoughts, everytime I thought a good thought it would null the feeling but almost suddenly it would return and continue. This feeling came first and the negative thoughts came after. I really at that point was hating on everything and everytime a thought of control and anger popped in my head the feeling would intensify into desire.. the headache at this point was all around the head but focused between the brows at the temple the most.
1-2 hours into that came some form of huge fatigue and fell asleep where I was slumped over with no pillow. I wasn't previously tired.
Now I woke up and the feeling is gone! so I wrote this thread. I would never want to repeat that experience again.
Anyone ever had this happen?
Anyways today I came home from school, it was a good day and I've got back some really high test scores for my winter semester classes. I had the TV on in the background and the movie on was kinda negative. But I was browsing these forums and wasn't watching it, but was reading Fairyfarmgirl's wanderer story.
Before I knew it I had this head ache all around the sides and back of my head and a feeling of just utter want to domination disgust and anger for people and positivity.. I tried so hard to think good thoughts, everytime I thought a good thought it would null the feeling but almost suddenly it would return and continue. This feeling came first and the negative thoughts came after. I really at that point was hating on everything and everytime a thought of control and anger popped in my head the feeling would intensify into desire.. the headache at this point was all around the head but focused between the brows at the temple the most.
1-2 hours into that came some form of huge fatigue and fell asleep where I was slumped over with no pillow. I wasn't previously tired.
Now I woke up and the feeling is gone! so I wrote this thread. I would never want to repeat that experience again.
Anyone ever had this happen?