2011.01.08 - Social memory complex and the self in third density

[Ankh]

I've had a meditation today. Without going into much details, it was like a portal that opened. And a flood rushed in through this door.

Some hours later I was standing and serving another self, when I sensed that recognizable vibration. I have been sensing it so many times before. It is like a knock on a door, and you recognize this knock immediately. It used to bring me pain and missing, but this time I opened up to it. I haven't been able to open up to it before. But today I did. And it took over me, my essence, and it really felt like merging, meshing, melting, and making love to my whole group. And these are just words trying to describe that *amazing, unspeakable* experience...

At the same time I had no difficulties serving another self meanwhile either, staying present *at the same time*. It was overwhelming and I was overjoyed, but still present.

What I thought later is that how lonely I have been feeling. How painful it has been to be separated from the group. And maybe it will all come back later again. The pain, and the feeling of separation, and the missing. But what I think for the moment is that how can we be separated when our Higher Self is closer to us than our own heartbeat, or our own breathe? And that this Higher Self is merged and unified with the vibration of the whole group? It is everpresent. But behind the door.

I think now that it is nothing that is in need to be analyzed or understood yet, for the moment. It was an incrediable experience, that I still feel that I can't express my gratitude for. But it will come back again. And in time, hopefully, I will be able to make something out of it. I am thinking specifically about what Q'uo said in regards to that clarifying energy that exists, of the social memory complex. It is quoted in my first post in this thread.

But for now, I am just so contented that it happened. It is magic that this door can actually be opened.