03-14-2012, 01:30 PM
Norral, what you say may have some basis in truth, but ultimately I reject it.
There are differences in female/male physiology, of course, which cannot be discounted as long as we have physical bodies (I said more about this in the female orgasm thread). This may account for some of the differences in thinking and behavior.
Our human history can be taken into consideration to discover the origins of the imbalance. Females may have a tendency to employ subtle ways of communicating based on many centuries if not millennia of being dominated (since they had no "say" and were, up until recent history considered chattel--property), and men may have entitlement issues (having everything concerning the home being done for them) due to being in power for so long (family, tribe leaders, religious leaders, and modern-day versions of them).
However, female and male behaviors, in my opinion, are not the way to look at this.
We all have a responsibility to communicate clearly. We all have a responsibility to be caretakers of integrity.
To speak to your main point:
1) It is no one's "job" to care for the environment in which 2 or more people live. No one should need to be asked to do anything. It is the responsibility of all who live there. It is an honor to be a caretaker, a steward, of whatever land, home, living space on Mother Earth we live. Spiritually speaking, if one is present, and loves what one is caretaker of, then one fills the space with love, and the space will love back. If we could all have this attitude, many problems would go away concerning marital disputes and environmental pollution.
2) If a spouse, or partner, or anyone, does not communicate clearly, it is the responsibility of both people involved in the communication. Communication is dependent upon all persons involved, not just the person trying to say something. The listener needs to LISTEN, and be PRESENT. If then, the listener does not really understand, it is the listener's responsibility to ask for clarification. The person attempting to communicate something has a responsibility to be clear and direct, not to imply, suggest, or manipulate, and expect the results she/he is looking for.
This may not be easy. As children, we manipulate continually (it is a survival directive). Many of us have portions of ourselves stuck, or fragmented, from childhood due to traumas, neglect, poor nutrition, etc. So adults often manipulate rather than deal with issues in a mature, healthy way because portions of ourselves may not have matured. Inner child work can help with this.
As a woman, I don't care if the man is not aware of his responsibilities, nor do I excuse him because of our human history. I personally, prefer to live with individuals who understand the concept of being a caretaker and steward, and who feel it is an honor. I also prefer to be around people who are willing to be present and listen, otherwise communication is debilitated or impossible.
I am stating the ideal here, and in everyday life little things come up. But if one has the underlying principles in place of stewardship and the desire to communicate well, the conflicts will be minimized.
There are differences in female/male physiology, of course, which cannot be discounted as long as we have physical bodies (I said more about this in the female orgasm thread). This may account for some of the differences in thinking and behavior.
Our human history can be taken into consideration to discover the origins of the imbalance. Females may have a tendency to employ subtle ways of communicating based on many centuries if not millennia of being dominated (since they had no "say" and were, up until recent history considered chattel--property), and men may have entitlement issues (having everything concerning the home being done for them) due to being in power for so long (family, tribe leaders, religious leaders, and modern-day versions of them).
However, female and male behaviors, in my opinion, are not the way to look at this.
We all have a responsibility to communicate clearly. We all have a responsibility to be caretakers of integrity.
To speak to your main point:
1) It is no one's "job" to care for the environment in which 2 or more people live. No one should need to be asked to do anything. It is the responsibility of all who live there. It is an honor to be a caretaker, a steward, of whatever land, home, living space on Mother Earth we live. Spiritually speaking, if one is present, and loves what one is caretaker of, then one fills the space with love, and the space will love back. If we could all have this attitude, many problems would go away concerning marital disputes and environmental pollution.
2) If a spouse, or partner, or anyone, does not communicate clearly, it is the responsibility of both people involved in the communication. Communication is dependent upon all persons involved, not just the person trying to say something. The listener needs to LISTEN, and be PRESENT. If then, the listener does not really understand, it is the listener's responsibility to ask for clarification. The person attempting to communicate something has a responsibility to be clear and direct, not to imply, suggest, or manipulate, and expect the results she/he is looking for.
This may not be easy. As children, we manipulate continually (it is a survival directive). Many of us have portions of ourselves stuck, or fragmented, from childhood due to traumas, neglect, poor nutrition, etc. So adults often manipulate rather than deal with issues in a mature, healthy way because portions of ourselves may not have matured. Inner child work can help with this.
As a woman, I don't care if the man is not aware of his responsibilities, nor do I excuse him because of our human history. I personally, prefer to live with individuals who understand the concept of being a caretaker and steward, and who feel it is an honor. I also prefer to be around people who are willing to be present and listen, otherwise communication is debilitated or impossible.
I am stating the ideal here, and in everyday life little things come up. But if one has the underlying principles in place of stewardship and the desire to communicate well, the conflicts will be minimized.
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