2007.03.25 The Female Orgasm

[Ali Quadir]

Yes I see your point, noting that as something"special" is a reflection of my programmed cultural conditioning, it really is just natural for men to nurture their children. It's really a natural everyday occurrence.

Exactly it's tricky isn't it? We are perfectly willing and able to be free from it. Yet everyone with possibly the exception of the most enlightened among us still has this bias inside. I fear it will take quite some time for us to decondition our society from the imposed archetypes.

These are not even the problematic patterns. No one is going to mind that we occasionally show some very subtle form of bias. And I see many couples who play with their gender roles as a thing to derrive joy from. "Get back in the kitchen you woman!" Or "Go and kill me a mammoth honey." Playing with something helps us to release ourselves from it.

The subconscious games we play without knowing it are far worse.

Though, my heart feels full when I see mama love too...

Of course It is a direct window on divine love.

I am seeing it more and more, in my partner and others...the natural nurturing love that is free from cultural biases.

We're so going to get there! I have perfect faith. Maybe our generation isn't quite there yet.. But the next one is going to take an equally big step...

But Yin and Yang kind of suggest that polarity. I really really meant a spectrum in the sense that the polarity is illusory! It is caused by putting two people together and it is different in each couple. Some couples have it reversed. It exists, but only when two people are together. And they don't even need to be opposite genders. Same sex couples are as natural as different sex couples.

and the physical reinforces that illusion, because our bodies look different, so it is harder to step out of the illusion in order to integrate the polarities. I am female and I think along the spectrum that I could use some more yang to get balanced. In my life, I have tended to be less accepting of my "yang" expressions.

We're only fighting ourselves in the end.. I think the best thing is to play with it.. Not take it too serious... Experiment. See what happens if we try things out I did.. It's great fun, educational, and occasionally a bit scary..

One of my issues was having an enormous unrealistic respect for women. You'd think you can't have too much respect, but you can and it gets you in abusive relationships. The last year I had great fun telling women I'm not going to do what they ask for. Or doing the absolute opposite of what I was supposed to do.. "Aren't you going to buy me a drink?" "Nah, but you can buy me one." "It is customary for the gentleman to buy a drink for a lady." "Yes, but why stick to those quaint notions, I see you as an independant and capable woman!"

Of course you get quite thirsty after a few of these exchanges. But at least I had fun. And it filters out the abusers.

My conflict with men as a gender has essentially been my conflict with my inner "male"/animus.

As was mine! And the problems I was experiencing in relationships with women was part and parcel to my conflict with my own gender.

yes, integrating both energies within is certainly a process and states of non-integration cause conflict, at least from my experience.

It is so true... Non integration is disharmony, friction and conflict.

But I don't think you really need both energies to be perfectly balanced, as long as your own energies flow forth without being stopped by artificial blocks. We're of course all a bit male and a bit female. But some are more male than others. And some are more female...

There is this mans movement where men go and sit together to talk about feelings.. And many men come back from it refreshed and uplifted... But it simply does not work for everyone. Some prefer to have a good natured friendly fight, involving axes, blunt ones of course, no sense in actually killing your friends. And there's a surprising amount of women there, partly because it's fun to swing an axe around partly because they love the smell of testosterone.

Neither one is better than the other... I believe we need the freedom to be ourselves. Not to be pushed into any pattern, not even a spiritually inspired one. Mind you the last really abusive one was also spiritually inspired.

Though for men who can't access their repressed feminine side or women who can't fully use their repressed masculine qualities it can be a very good thing I agree. It's just that some guys really need help being more masculine, they already are loving people in touch with their emotions. In the end it's good if it helps you to be more of who you are.