2007.03.25 The Female Orgasm

[Ali Quadir]

Hey Ali, I appreciate your gentle way of expressing yourself and communicating (related to the communication difficulties in this thread.)

Thank you for your kind words Shemaya.

I can totally relate to communication difficulties, a huge part of my incarnational lessons this time around Hearing and being heard, heart, ear art, earth. I try to keep all those in mind when I am having trouble.

I'm still learning a great deal in this regard. My basic nature is that of a loner, I avoid people unless I push myself towards them. I'm callibrating all kinds of variables but people aren't all the same, sometimes it works great, sometimes it just doesn't work at all.

Since orgasm is a psychological reflex which occurs if conditions are met, the psychology of individuals and society is relevant. My point was that society is currently structured in a way where women often end up in a passive position. It's easy for a guy to achieve orgasm because since he's active he can mostly meet the conditions himself. For a woman it's less easy. Her conditions are the result of the guys behavior, so this requires either good communication, mind reading or a role reversal.

Things changed for me the less needy I became, in all ways, emotionally, psychology, physically. I am a professional and can take care of myself financially and physically, so that need is met for me. I was very emotionally needy when I was young and had the expectation that my husband would fill those needs, and to some extent it is good and proper that we meet each others emotional needs, but not to the extent of my unrealistic expectations at the time. So we have worked through alot of those lower chakra issues, not to say that we are perfect in the way we relate, but much better. My spiritual path and work has opened up our relationship immensely, to the extent that there is actual physical , grounded changes in my body, so that has made things better for both of us.

I noticed this too. As the two partners are more succesfull in their individual lives their life as a couple gets better. Self respect allows us to enjoy the respect another person gives us more.

a dance would be a more appropriate analogy.

Absolutely! love that analogy...I am battle weary myself

Hehe, me too

a "Real man" or "Real woman" really is... Then you'll note that anything a real man or woman is, the other gender requires as well.

Amen to that! One thing that expands my heart is seeing a father care and nurture his children, a really beautiful thing.

Don't forget the mothers! Their nurturing and loving interactions with their children are also heart warming. I'm sad that in this society we consider it special when a man does it.. But men really do it all the time. A man's bond to his child is as overwhelming as it is for a woman.

This should not be special. Is it like saying a black guy is really decent... Like saying a jewish person is not stingy at all. Or suggesting that a woman is surprisingly capable. It betrays our expectations.

I catch myself doing stuff like that all the time. It's really sneaky. Last it happened I complimented my girlfriend on her ability to construct some ikea furniture.

Long story short, I think there's a gender spectrum and not so much a polarity.

Yes most definitely...I think because we all have both energies within us operating all the time whether called yin/yang, male /female.

But Yin and Yang kind of suggest that polarity. I really really meant a spectrum in the sense that the polarity is illusory! It is caused by putting two people together and it is different in each couple. Some couples have it reversed. It exists, but only when two people are together. And they don't even need to be opposite genders. Same sex couples are as natural as different sex couples.

My conflict with men as a gender has essentially been my conflict with my inner "male"/animus.

As was mine! And the problems I was experiencing in relationships with women was part and parcel to my conflict with my own gender.