2007.03.25 The Female Orgasm

[Ali Quadir]

@Bring4th_GLB
I should not have posted my last post.. It's a true reflection of my emotions. But indeed it is not helpfull. So I offer my apologies.

Again, I never was dictating to Monica what her position was. I have often directly said that it was clearly not her position as far as I was concerned. But I did confront her with what she was saying. She may not have intended it like she did. But she certainly came across like that. To me, and to a degree to Ankh aswell.

Halfway that discussion I backed out just accepting that she did not intend to say the things she said.

The last few posts were directly relating to what happened in MY mind relating to the things she had said. Monica was unfortunately unwilling or unable to see this as anything other than criticism. What I was hoping for was "I can understand how you came to your conclusion, even if you were wrong." What I got was "Stop dictating my point of view to me!"

What you read as you/you/you, was you/me/you/me my attempt to explain the process. And you do need "you" for that. The last two posts were pure frustration at the inability to get my point across.

I certainly never accused Monica of being sexist.. I made it clear from the start that I know she is not. However, I also made it clear that some of the things she claimed are sexist in nature. Even if they are accepted by society as fact.

The degree to which I was offended was that in the end, by insisting that I was dictating her point of view, she was in fact dictating mine. My attempts to clarify myself were only interpreted as further attempts to dictate her point of view. Which is certainly not how it was intended.

Instead of focusing, and refocusing on Monica's words, why not rephrase your words to support your views? We are all interested in your views.

Thank you Diana.. I will accept your invitation.

Since orgasm is a psychological reflex which occurs if conditions are met, the psychology of individuals and society is relevant. My point was that society is currently structured in a way where women often end up in a passive position. It's easy for a guy to achieve orgasm because since he's active he can mostly meet the conditions himself. For a woman it's less easy. Her conditions are the result of the guys behavior, so this requires either good communication, mind reading or a role reversal.

This is indicative of a larger problem in society. Men and women are not just equals, they're also two halves of a circle, meaning that if one gender moves the other either moves to adapt or friction is caused. This is called the batle between the sexes but a dance would be a more appropriate analogy.

The best position for both genders as far as I can see is one where they are not as far apart as society dictates. It's clear that men and women are for the most part interchangeable. Given equal practice men and women are equally able to handle emotions and physical situations. Men can be caregivers and women can be providers. There is a polarity but this is hard to define. If you try to define what a "Real man" or "Real woman" really is... Then you'll note that anything a real man or woman is, the other gender requires as well.

There is much more to say about the behaviors of the genders in our society. And it's a very interesting topic. Long story short, I think there's a gender spectrum and not so much a polarity. But I think it's best not go off into a rant here.. Relating to the topic I think that women who are less inclined to take the passive role are more able to achieve orgasm. But this often opens a can of worms. Including all kinds of insecurities by both genders.