Past Lives

[Ankh]

I liked your point that there has to be balance. Too much certainity and/or too much doubt is an imbalance. I doubt things. I question stuff. But what I think is that this need to question and doubt things, originates from, is the initial doubt, where it all begins so to speak, and that is the doubt of the self.

I'm still unclear as to what you mean by initial doubt and doubt of the self.

You seem to indicate that any doubt is somehow a disservice to self.

Am I understanding you correctly? Can you clarify?

It seems to me that to categorize doubt as something "never ever to do" would be similar to categorizing anger as something "never ever to do."

Both are just aspects of who we are. Both have their purpose. Both are gifts from the Creator, to be used appropriately. Both should be integrated, rather than denied, in my opinion.

I understand what you are saying, and agree with you. I did not mean that any doubt is the disservice to the self, but that I doubt too much. About everything. And I think that it originates in the doubt of myself. Maybe it has something to do with self worth. I don't know. But I doubt myself all the time. Is this correct? Is this incorrect? In regards to everything, my thoughts, beliefs, understanding, emotions etc... Ah, well, we all have our problems. ; )

i'm glad i was born without the obedience gene. i don't think my parents coulda done anything to make me respect authority of any kind. to me it always has to be earned, and mine to give. maybe because of past lives people are so easily programmable.

The understanding that I got from the environment where I grew up, is that if you don't do as you are told, they can't control the entity, then this entity will be eliminated one way or another. I saw that and understood that. I feared for my life, as I was a child. Would it happen later when I was adult, maybe I would choose differently. This understanding did not occur to me when I was younger though.

Back to the thread: I think that this life is the first one upon Gaia, and what started these series of further incarnations. It comes as such anyway. I was an Egyptian.. priestess? Or some kind of servant in the... temple? Or where some kind of worship was going on. I served together with others. What we did, besides our daily services in the temple, is that we entertained and danced in bigger gatherings/groups. I don't know what kind of gatherings these were. It was bigger rooms, which sometimes did not have the walls towards gardens, or the outside. There were people there. I was different back then, and that is what I meant earlier that my personality has changed so much since then. Ah, how I wish to bring it all back again!

Anyway, I lived alone, and I was connected to a vibration that was very beautiful, and to the Creator. When I served, I was able to *connect* to each entity on the levels that are very difficult for me to come close to, in this lifetime. After these gatherings there were intimate moments with men. And I have rememberings of that, though vague and distorted they may be. Ah, good old days.... ; )