Unfeeling

[Memorandem]

Hey Peregrinus. I was reading this part of the Cassiopaea stuff and thought it might pertain to you.

In short:

"A warrior loses compassion because he no longer feels self pity." - Don Juan

Feeling sorry about someone without taking action has no value; it is a wasted action and a waste of energy better used for other things.

So feeling sorry for another person is really only self pity, because you remember feeling their pain. Some people call this empathy but really it only amounts to pity.

Pain is caused by a real problem; pain can't be resolved through pity.

A warrior is a man of action; he brings his purpose to the hilt. If it doesn't make any real difference, it's not an action, simply a reaction. (actions add energy to a system; reactions simply rebound energy in some way, and some energy is always lost in a reaction - reactive systems die off)

What I think you're missing is something you're better off without. My experience is that most if not all of human emotional experience is just wishful thinking and logically erroneous trash that can be done without. It may give some tingly sensations and feel sort of like an LSD trip at times, but it is really just unhelpful and is just a manifestation of the flaws we've concatenated over our many thousands of lifetimes, and things which we would leave far behind with proper knowledge (I feel emotion only gets real after the 4th chakra activation and beyond; conventional emotion has never seemed realistic or authentic to me in any sense). I feel I started out here being of moderately high evolution, and then because of *pre-birth memory loss* I slowly declined as I was incredibly confused. That is my fault; you might aim to climb the highest mountain but if you just start climbing anywhere you'll get to a peak and not know whether it's really the highest one or not. Sometimes you have to come back down, learn a little more, and then try another peak. If you lose everything just in a simple matter of memory loss, then it should show what your knowledge and spiritual evolution at that point was really worth; ascension is not about getting to the highest peak, it's about doing well in everything without compromise, the best possible. A little is not enough. If you can't commit, then your life will end typically and be recycled as a "learning experience". I would like to avoid that, because I would be adding my current flaws to he random soup that gets transmitted to my next incarnation.

Here's what I was reading from.

http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/wave11c.htm

This is excellently written. This starts in the middle of the chapter; to get the whole scoop start at the beginning of chapter 11 from the index at the left of the page.

I'll quote more specifically:

Remember what I said at the beginning?

I had seemingly achieved a state of love and acceptance for all people, for all paths, for all who struggled in ignorance. ... I was, in a certain sense, in as bad a situation as I had been when the "voice" had told me that I must "learn" about evil. ... what I didn't know was just how subtle and torturous... deception could be and how it manifested on an individual, personal basis.

Now, what conclusions can we draw from all of this?

I have recently asked several friends to have a look at this particular narrative in order to discover if their analyses of the events is anywhere similar to my own. I was very grateful at the clarity of their responses which are so astute I would like to quote them in part.

"C" writes:

What comes up for me is:
1. The hierarchy of the attack system may or may not be known consciously to the conduits, especially those at the lower rungs of the hierarchy.
2. Compromise can be fractional or great; attacks come through integrity breeches of the chosen relay, and spread by contagion or artifice through to any weak spot of the end person.
3. One can observe strings, little nagging ideas or "small faults" which can be explained away or overridden by other more positive or engaging attributes of the person in question. 4. On the other hand, "weirdnesses" or "personality quirks" are not necessarily indicators of contamination at all.
5. The obvious "love and light" fallacy brings up a point of interest for me personally, and this relates to 3 above. [i.e. Forgiveness.]

On the topic of forgiveness: this is something that can easily go on automatic, and appears to be a point where one can easily go blind to these little strings.

When one is faced with attack, one needs to be very clear on the dynamics of a situation, and where one has consciously or unconsciously overlooked/forgiven someone for some wrong or fault, it creates weakness in one's own integrity. And by integrity I am not limiting my definition to moral integrity--I mean this as more of a generic "wholeness."

When you go down the path of forgiveness, you also open up the realm of not-forgiveness. I think that the subject does warrant some new inspection/reworking of thoughts. I think that forgiveness going on as [an] automatic mental process is a Christian program. There is also the question of how can students truly forgive each other when every action/counteraction is part of lesson?

I'm not advocating the holding of a grudge either by this.

True forgiveness implies a canceling out of the other person's weak spot, an acknowledgment that the damage has been ended in the Forgiver.

Forgiveness can be viewed in a mundane way as a judgment (just as a refusal to forgive can be judgment). It does not guarantee that the underlying weakness in the forgiven person has now been addressed and resolved. It also implies to the forgiven one that the forgiver has resolved his own lesson. Are we as humans really qualified to do this?

Seemingly to me, in a similar way, when we make allowances for others' weak spots by reason of judging that their other good qualities "cancel out these weak spots," we agree to overlook, we can also close the door to receiving information about our own more unconscious aspects from our true friends. Integral to this type of scene of course would be the ability and means with which to make effective corrections and improvements. And of course each member would have the right and responsibility to maintain his/her own integrity. Any organization would be subject to contamination, and would be as strong as its weakest link.

Therefore, the individuals in the group would really have to be completely responsible as individuals for their participation in the group. Each of us has weak spots and points where we can be "used," just as others' weak spots can be used to wreak havoc on us. The question is to what length am I going to shore up my own weak spots and to assist others who are willing to do the same?

What are our strengths and our weaknesses? What do we nurture? What do we watch for in our own ranks? Are we willing to kindly give and receive help in this direction? What can we do to mutually assist in strengthening our union and each other? Seems there should be an astral immune system, parallel to a physical immune system. If there was such a system, I would expect that integrity would be a measure of the health of that system. Knowledge protects, not forgiveness.

[There are] no guarantees that one won't get attacked, but one can minimize the duration or severity of the attack and adverse effects as one goes through life. "Forgiveness" can be a blinder to knowledge. ... I know also that I have swept correct original impressions under the rug of "forgiveness" and have regretted this later.

[In terms of Forgiveness and Love and Light] the forgiven party now "knows" he is not responsible, and if it ends there without further inspection, the source can use the same or similar modes for future feeding.

To the degree that the target of attack employs a simple "turning of the other cheek," he is marked for further attack, for as long as his energy can be siphoned off.

On the other hand, if both the attacker and the attacked can honestly and openly inspect the mechanics of the attack, and be willing to take steps to repair the holes in the integrity of the relationship, there is a formidable strength. i.e., turning the petty tyrant around.

[In any relationship where such attack transpires] if a person can observe and realize on his own steam and without judgment or blame that he is being used in this way, there is hope. But no guarantee. ... One has to be able to also commit to knowing one's own limitations, be ready for other varied and sundry modes of attack and betrayal coming through the weaker party, and also take responsibility for his part in the other's evolution and growth - even if the correct next action is to withdraw for one's own sanity and so as to not disrupt the lesson of the other.

A very good analogy of what is described above was then given by another friend, "L," who wrote:

We all have on our "spiritual" armor, our shield and sword. I picture us standing in a line. The warrior standing next to you has to be outfitted in the same gear; you can't take off your breast plate and give it to the warrior next to you because he woke up late and forgot to bring his; your chance of getting pierced through the heart would be ten fold; nor could you be fighting with a warrior standing next to you that didn't do any training - he just decided to wake up and put on some armor that day.

In other words you have to be on equal footing [with those with whom you associate closely.]

But also like a warrior, you don't leave your injured behind and if you see them being attacked from all sides you charge in swinging your sword. These people are your comrades, they are closer than family at times of battle.

This reminds me of something I read in Carlos Castenada's books: don Juan said "A warrior loses compassion because he no longer feels self pity." In many ways this is true. I think of forgiveness as just a "letting go," knowing that some things have to happen in order to fulfill a lesson; that everyone has their role to play.

And that is the point: everyone has their "role" to play in the "lessons" we are all learning. And we can use these lessons to get better at who we are and what we do, or we can retreat into the cocoons of our belief systems, closing our eyes to the marvelous wonder of the universe and the great Cosmic Drama.

Yes, in a real sense we ARE all one, but we seem to be under a mandate to discover our true options, CHOOSE our role, and act it to the hilt, bringing down the house with applause and cascades of flowers when the final curtain comes down.

When the play is over and we all meet "backstage," we may clap each other on the back, shake each other's hands, and congratulate each other for a fine performance! But that is a different level. There seem to be many more acts in the play before we reach 7th density. And if we are NOT playing our part well, we can very likely be "pulled from the play" and "recycled" as an extra! We are in the middle of the play. And we cannot become playwrights or directors until we prove that we can act. And this "acting" seems to involve very specific choices and behaviors so that the play will be "successful."

So, back to practical terms in the Cosmic drama: a very difficult situation had been "survived," and a very interesting lesson had been learned. But, that was not the end of it. Not by a long shot! Whoever or WHATever it was that wanted to kill me had NOT given up. I was about to learn that when you block it from one direction, it sneaks around and tries to find another way to get in. And sometimes, the way in is through your own mind!

The rest of the series is written just as well.

Also, if you're interested in stoicism you might be interested in this Yahoo group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stoics/

- Memorandem