Unfeeling

[Peregrinus]

Very well, you can certainly observe, appreciate, notice, comment upon and consider the value of those who have human qualities you perceive as being manifested more in their life than in yours. You can also share your perceptions and interpretations about these advantages with those people, and with others. All this can honor the diverse ways the Creator's portions can assist one another while living on the 3D Earth.

I can observe, notice, comment upon, and consider the value of human qualities, but it does not make it any more accessible to me... Appreciation is a feeling, lol. I say lol because it is the logical thing to do/say when I find contradiction. Contradiction apparently is humorous, as I use this technique to make people laugh. I also note other reasons, and apply the correct smile or such as required to appear feeling.

I'm truly sorry to learn of this challenging circumstance in your life. I wish for you all the finest of healing at all levels, and of work and contribution and balancing opportunities, that can possibly come your way.

Please, there is nothing to be sorry about. It happened, and I learned from it. I checked myself out of hospital after seven days, because I felt I could lay around just as well at home as I could in hospital. I only slept four hours a day, and after three months in the wheelchair, rehabilitated myself by moving a few feet at a time, always having to lay down to breath in between. It was not a bad thing to me. It just taught me that I was not invincible, which I had assumed before that. I've had 20+ broken bones and more than more stitches than I care to remember, and I always healed, even from broken bones, in a matter of weeks. I had my right hand literally crushed in a car door during an auto accident, and I was able to use it a week later... seriously, I began to think i was like Chris Lambert in those Highlander movies, except I didn't carry a sword and didn't lop peoples heads off. I fell into a deep fryer one time, my whole right arm went in to just below the elbow. Five days later the skin peeled off and new skin grew back. No scars, nothing...

I went through a very traumatic physical accident myself. Fortunately, I didn't have to relearn as much as you or face as much post-accident repercussion as you. But I can share an opinion with more personal understanding than many people could offer. And my opinion is that the shutoff of feeling perception may be, or may have been, a physiological necessity to prevent overloading your nervous system. Without that, the full awareness of pain, and all its emotional implications, could have been utterly debilitating to further conscious awareness in this lifetime.

I've always felt pain was just an illusion, like someone telling you "ok, so now you burned yourself, you must not break the scab so as to let it heal", and never let it bother me. The mind controls the illusion, or so I have thought. Pain was just the bodies way of saying it was repairing itself. That is all I took it as.

It might be a blessing that the absence of joyous highs also saves you from the presence of crushing injury sense to its full extent. In my own case, at some point just before my head hit the rocks at great speed, my memory goes blank, and it doesn't return until some time later. I hope and actually pray that in this lifetime, I never will remember or consciously experience the real feelings of those missing moments.

I can say I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope you will never have to remember those things as well, but really, I'm not (lack of compassion - I wish I could say that and mean it). I just know it is correct and normal to say things like that, so I say them. Let's pretend that someday I will mean that, and I'm sure I will.

The ability to have less than full association with physical aspects of feeling could, perhaps, have been a wise, metaphysical, time/space choice each of us made. These choice might have been the best way to prepare us for the accidents that were unavoidable for the evolutionary path and pace we each aspired to experience in this incarnation.

Again, note to self: kick higher self's ass when on metaphysical plane. Send me back to 2D to be a cow chewing my cud. That looks plenty interesting... <--- do you find that funny, or just wierd?

The disaster recovery comment, by the way, was meant to give an example of observation and speech. I had in mind a safety inspector's intellectual service, not of physical rescue service such as a fireman would provide. I apologize if that was unclear.

Unclear? What do you mean? You are being unclear...

Given the number of "behind the music" stories of people who felt safe with managers who ran off with the money, maybe you'd be a real blessing in that field!

I couldn't care less about money, so I am safe to not run off with it, but though I have heard that money talks, the only thing it usually says to me is "good-bye". If it is someone else's, it is safe.

That's interesting. Do you have any recall of dreams?

Yes, and vivid dreams at that, every night since I have begun to work on my Pineal.

In what way could you have been of more service if you'd had a feeling element of compassion, perhaps distracting you from the pragmatic shock treatment and calmly wry assessment that helped others feel safe?

Ok I am of service. I have always been of service. Always saved people, always stood up for the smaller guy, always done what i could when I could, but I don't have compassion.... I only do it because it is right, and that is logical to me. In the choice of right or wrong, right has logical benefits, thus right I chose long ago. In all religions being good pays off, thus I simply hedged my bets.

I believe she'll know that she is loved, and that this world is a place where caring help is available to her. What a wonderful foundation of security she gets to experience! How much more helpful sensitivity to her needs than many parents who might have more vivid mood swings!

In this sense, she is my teacher.I believe she has come to help me with this, for her love is more powerful than any I have encountered. I do love her, but again, I have no compassion for her pains. She is walking now two months and bashes her head on things so often and cries, and I console her, yet feel nothing for her pain. I am a single dad, and she has been with me since almost the day she was born. I lost my home sixth months ago (that's another story, just a thing) and we now live in one room (with bathroom) in a basement. We have closet, play area, crib, my bed, and computer area where I write this all in one bedroom. Not much room at all, but it is filled with all the love I can give her. I have use of the kitchen and living area upstairs.

Yes, this is the way I understand the Law of One material. The energy inflow which comes up the body becomes unusable if it encounters a blocked chakra. Therefore opening the chakras in sequence from red on up enables the physical portion of the self to integrate this energy for mind and spirit to use. So if the graph is accurate, then orange chakra openness would indeed be the next focus of your evolution.

It is my focus at current. I believe once I can unblock it, the flood gates will open to my heart, and I will be able to feel compassion once and for all. I can hardly wait to cry at something.

In her I do find joy sometimes. I find myself smiling, and it is strange to me. I just wish I could find compassion. It is funny (not haha), the only thing which the mind cannot do is make the heart work properly. Where's the logic in that?