11-10-2009, 10:05 PM
I had a fellow student at university who also got very angry about the nonsense of this. "We just don't fit under a bell curve". she used to scream out in heated discussions. Hell of a lady, she was in university when she was 69 years old!!! And since the professors were mostly "kids" to her... She often gave them an earful. There were only two different types of professors.. Those that loved her, and those that feared her... 
Us real kids were watching the spectacle with open mouths. I helped her with math home work at times (an uphill battle, she'd fulminate about it most of the time), her son was a friend of mine and actually becoming sufi was something we went through together.
By a strange coincidence her name also happens to be Carla.
The personality test measures more the presence of expression of feeling than the presence of the feeling itself. I can imagine from your story that it mistook you for someone who cares very little. That's how you express yourself. But your story also clearly shows the reasons. And they were not egotistical. You were there maybe not emotionally but at that time this is how you cushioned their pain.
Maybe you need to do some work to get in touch with the more emotional you. The kid before he learned to put the emotions away. But I don't think you need to worry about having done the right or wrong thing.
I don't like killing one bit. But I have friends and family in the army. I do understand that it's part of this life. Some people for whatever reason feel the need to go there.
Us real kids were watching the spectacle with open mouths. I helped her with math home work at times (an uphill battle, she'd fulminate about it most of the time), her son was a friend of mine and actually becoming sufi was something we went through together.
By a strange coincidence her name also happens to be Carla.
Quote:This is not something that someone told me.This is something I know. I used to envy Spock when I was a kid because he had emotions, even if they were weak. I had none. I was in the army eight years and have killed, without emotion and without regret. I have buried comrades without emotion and without regret. I have been fearless all my life. Getting shot at? Whatever... it never bothered me. My brother died in a car accident. I came home and everyone said "You are the rock that holds us together. You are so strong", yet I felt nothing. I simply watched the sun come up and knew it was all part of the natural cycle. It made sense.Peregrinus, don't mistake lack of attachment for lack of care. I don't feel strong emotions when burying people. In stressful situations like fights or one accident with illegal fireworks. (Not mine) I just acted first and worried about not feeling later. This isn't a sign of not caring. It's a sign of being unattached. Unfortunately it is my experience that those events do leave scars. You were the rock, and if no one else was able to do that you were invaluable. It balances out. Don't place shame there, you did what you believed needed to be done.
The personality test measures more the presence of expression of feeling than the presence of the feeling itself. I can imagine from your story that it mistook you for someone who cares very little. That's how you express yourself. But your story also clearly shows the reasons. And they were not egotistical. You were there maybe not emotionally but at that time this is how you cushioned their pain.
Maybe you need to do some work to get in touch with the more emotional you. The kid before he learned to put the emotions away. But I don't think you need to worry about having done the right or wrong thing.
I don't like killing one bit. But I have friends and family in the army. I do understand that it's part of this life. Some people for whatever reason feel the need to go there.