11/11/11 - What will occur? What DID occur?

[hogey11]

Hey great that you are handling all this catalyst so well.

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Seems is not even raising your blood pressure a bit!

How do we know he isn't just repressing the feelings related to the catalyst and putting on a happy face so that he can appear/believe that he's using the catalyst well?

When people have a tragedy, I'm more worried about them if they are happy, because it indicates they're repressing or dissociating from the tragedy.

A lot of people used to tell me stuff like that by the way. Something terrible would happen to me and people would be like, "Wow you're so calm and even-tempered, you really have it all figured out don't you!"

Not the case. I had my emotions under perfect control, but this was not good for me. In hindsight I believe it is healthier to feel and express the pain, to look miserable when you're really miserable, to cry when it hurts, and to get angry when God drops a fucking tree on your house. That a******. The people who say, "Well I'm just being honest, I really don't feel any pain over this" are the worst off because their acting is so good that they fool themself.

I have felt quite balanced as of late. The best way I could describe my feelings, even at the time, was just that of observance. I didn't interpret it as an attack against my reality - it just happened. It may seem counter-intuitive, but this is always how I usually am. Friends have sometimes called it a gift, but I rarely ask the world to conform to my wishes. For that, it seems that the world often provides well enough, and sometimes that includes a tree falling on your house

The fact that nobody got hurt and nothing was seriously damaged is the most important thing. Why would I get upset over a broken house when there is so much else broken to be upset about? That would be selfish, imo

Update: Tree is cleaned up, Insurance doesn't seem to be screwing me around, all is going well (except it snowed last night and i'm not done disposing of debris).