Wandering into the Military (Be prepared for wall of text)

[turtledude23]

There are as many personalities as there are people on Earth, as far as I can tell. Even the bell curve someone mentioned would be a generalization and simplification, never mind an assumption like the attractiveness of assertiveness to all females. Interesting discussions aside, lets get to the core of this topic: Wyze wants to attract a significant other to the extent that he's willing to change his personality in small ways or join the army. I've been in a state of loneliness and desperation before too so I know it's hard to take this advice but here goes: be yourself, follow your bliss, and the right people will come into your life naturally. If joining the army or being more assertive is what makes you happy then great, but if you feel its something you "should" do then I'd think twice about it. Like Namaste said: you'll attract someone like you, so if you're willing to ignore your honest desires in favour of conforming to a certain role you think others expect of you then that's the kind of person you'll find, and repression never leads anywhere pleasant.

On the other hand I find these generalizations to be helpful for more casual relationships like friendships, because they lack the depth of a romantic relationship you can compensate with "tricks" like being more assertive at times or keeping people guessing (the mysterious/misunderstood guy archetype seems popular too). But for romantic relationships I'd say be as honest as possible (but still tactful) and be patient, the right lady will come your way someday, when you're both ready.