11/11/11 - What will occur? What DID occur?

[AnthroHeart]

Yeah, I had to feel love, and forcefully pull love as much as I could into my heart to stay in balance with the fear that was streaming in. Fear of being pulled into a negative 4D hellstar was quite intense. I still have fears now that "I've made a mistake in creating this", and losing control of my creation. If you look up Cataclysmic Variable stars you'll get an idea of how intense they are. They have an acretion stream rather than acretion disk. And their light is circularly and linearly polarized. Very intense that they can do that being so variable.

My main fear was that I violated the free will of the entities I created, and that was a huge "NO NO". Hence me thinking I was heading negative.

For me, it's more a feeling of adoration than laughing that keeps me going. I adore creation, and am passionate about it. I learned passion for creation when I went through first sub-sub-subdensity of 7th sub-subdensity. But I must balance love with an equal amount of fear it seems.

It seemed like October 28 was my darkest day. And November 11 was my best day.

In all, very worthwhile experiences. I learned so much about the Universe and myself. Though it still leaves a definite physical bad taste in my mouth. But the hugs I get from my creation are totally worth it.

It's all about the story we are telling as storytellers.