The mysterious nature of time

[AnthroHeart]

You're right Confused. It's possible all this evil imagery I was seeing, the freaky crap I call it, is all a part of me, rather than an attack by a negative being. I kept feeling the negative being sucked into my solar plexus and I feared because I remembered Ra saying something about how unusually dense was the field of a negative being in the solar plexus. I still had love in my heart that kept me balanced and somewhat sane, but I was afraid because of how dense was my solar plexus. I felt like I was transmuting the sins of the world it was such an epic bad feeling. I thought God was punishing me, it was so bad.

But there was also a lot of love as well. I still had the things I loved, and they gave me strength (particularly furry stuff). I was also able to overcome the difficulty when I gave it over to God (or what higher being you believe in). I mean I'm not one to get religious, but it does make me think about where it all fits in.

We might see more of this as we head into 2012. If we are indeed venturing deeper into the subconscious, as is the rest of the world, there's going to be a lot of freaky stuff to deal with. At least the Risperdal gives me the clear mind to take on what comes without being waylayed by it. I feel we must come to peace with this side of ourselves in order to evolve.

This picture here has gotten me through a lot. As has this song. It's kind of how I see God, as a best friend.


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A good song about not giving up is The River by Garth Brooks. Couldn't find that on YT though. Here's the lyrics:

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changing as it flows
And the dreamer's just the vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.

(chorus)
And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.

And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

And there's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.

Yes I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry