Waking up "out of body"

[zenmaster]

Zen - Could you explain how feeling afraid late at night is related to initiation?

It's related to the necessary encounter with the unconscious which occurs as part of psychological development. More of time/space is accessible and the first part of that tends to be the personal unconscious. This is where we get the notion of 'everyone is right', and the subjective nature of reality not being so dismissible. It's the beginning of Ken Wilber's 'left-hand quadrant' and also the start of Spiral Dynamics' green valuing meme. Initially, the personal unconscious is not accepted and recognized. With a certain amount of polarization ('green-ray', probably teens and early twenties for a wanderer), its contents do start leaking out into consciousness and where it may seem foreign and terrifying. But it's just 'you'. Same thing if you try astral projection the first time without accepting and becoming familiar with the personal unconscious (shadow) - the first thing you encounter tends to be some rather scary aspect of the self. This is the first part of initiation. At some point, there tends to be death of ego experience(s) (dark night periods) resulting in a more transpersonal viewpoint, further penetration of veil, and less attachment, followed by 'psychic' ability.

---

Do you feel like the caretaker was an STO entity then?

Yes. Have read the entire thread and at one point chatted with him over skype on the subject - and have had other experiences to reinforce that opinion.

What's your take on the part about her "working with the greys" and whatnot? Do you think his particular "greys" are STO or STS?

Have no idea really. As if by design, it's difficult to determine any rationale. I personally don't think the value is in determination of the polarity of the participants, but of the general worldview depicted. The narrative in the biography is very genuine, unique and compelling and I'm glad he shared that experience. This 'harvest' time seems to involve different 4D entities. They have various big agendas for sure and they certainly use us how they see fit.