08-22-2009, 10:25 PM
I have enjoyed reading these posts as this is a central issue within my own marriage. When I met my wife, I considered myself an agnostic. I had been raised as a Jehovah's Witness and that experience left a very bad taste for religion. I resented the Old testament view of a vengeful, punishing God. After we were married, she wanted us to go to church together. I was dead set against church and told her I would only go to a church where there was no dogma being forced upon its members. She spent a great deal of time at a university library and decided the Unitarians would be a good fit as they embrace all spiritual paths equally. We gave it a try and the Unitarian minister turned me on the the Tao and I developed in interest in Eastern mysticism. This was not her intent! That was over ten years ago and we have continued to drift apart since then as I have become more and more involved with mysticism.
She has put up with so much from me. When we married during 1995, I was VP of a manufacturing company. My focus was on power, wealth and social standing. We bought a nice home in an ultra-conservative, blue-blood neighborhood. As I began to awaken, my personality and behavior drastically changed. I lost interest in my career and began pushing for a more modest lifestyle. Twice since our marriage, I have taken a year off work and focused on spiritual pursuits. Each time I return to work, the environment seems hostile and oppressive. I have lost all desire to work in the business world and am no longer effective because my heart is not in it.
Through it all, she has put up with it, even paying the bills those two years when I didn't work. I owe her so much yet our relationship is withering because there is no intimacy due to the spiritual gap. I have finally found the truth I have been seeking, and I want so desperately to share it. It's not that she has her own beliefs. She doesn't attend a church or show any interest in spirituality. She redicules my need to live by my beliefs and complains that a normal person would be content to attend church for an hour Sunday mornings and let it go at that. Both my wife and my step-son make fun of my beliefs behind my back. Now that I have included the Ra teachings in my portfolio, she has nick-named me "fifth dimension man." I have tried to explain that it's not about believing as I do, it's about living a life of service to others. She replies that she is a nurse and serves others for a living. If I want to serve others, I should devote my time to serving her!
Anyway, she is a very good person and I care deeply for her, but we have truly become two strangers who can no longer relate to each other. She resents that I am not pursuing a better job with more pay and responsibility. I resent that our lifestyle forces me to devote most of my time and energy to a career that no longer interests me. It is tearing us apart.
She has put up with so much from me. When we married during 1995, I was VP of a manufacturing company. My focus was on power, wealth and social standing. We bought a nice home in an ultra-conservative, blue-blood neighborhood. As I began to awaken, my personality and behavior drastically changed. I lost interest in my career and began pushing for a more modest lifestyle. Twice since our marriage, I have taken a year off work and focused on spiritual pursuits. Each time I return to work, the environment seems hostile and oppressive. I have lost all desire to work in the business world and am no longer effective because my heart is not in it.
Through it all, she has put up with it, even paying the bills those two years when I didn't work. I owe her so much yet our relationship is withering because there is no intimacy due to the spiritual gap. I have finally found the truth I have been seeking, and I want so desperately to share it. It's not that she has her own beliefs. She doesn't attend a church or show any interest in spirituality. She redicules my need to live by my beliefs and complains that a normal person would be content to attend church for an hour Sunday mornings and let it go at that. Both my wife and my step-son make fun of my beliefs behind my back. Now that I have included the Ra teachings in my portfolio, she has nick-named me "fifth dimension man." I have tried to explain that it's not about believing as I do, it's about living a life of service to others. She replies that she is a nurse and serves others for a living. If I want to serve others, I should devote my time to serving her!
Anyway, she is a very good person and I care deeply for her, but we have truly become two strangers who can no longer relate to each other. She resents that I am not pursuing a better job with more pay and responsibility. I resent that our lifestyle forces me to devote most of my time and energy to a career that no longer interests me. It is tearing us apart.