Hello

[Kiko]

But do you honestly need validation at this point?

I think I hear a wise old soul here. Yes, I would say that I have always wanted some form of validation, of acceptance. I got little or nothing in that way from the family I grew up in, only their remembered fear of strange events. That has an effect on a developing ego, of course. Nowadays I do not think I seek validation so much as the comfort of knowing I am not alone in the 'human' sense. Perhaps there are still vestiges of immaturity - I do not know or care to analyse too much.

If you're from Ra, you're actually not even that alienated, since you're used to the same archetypal influence. i.e. the Tarot is applicable in a thematic manner, as a mythology.

You know, I have never examined the Tarot in any way, even though some friends use it as a method of divination and so forth. I can do silly things like split a deck, pick out the Emperor card, shuffle split and re-pick the same one, shuffle split and re-pick the same one, and so on all day. But it does not mean anything to me. I have no idea why, but I would be interested to hear how you think the Tarot is applicable as a theme.

I've worked with a few that have suffered from lack of 'racial memory' integration, due to being from a different system entirely. That is the more profound estrangement, and a more daring 'wanderer' IMHO.

Interesting, and you have possibly given me a useful insight. I have a friend who I can see going through the same painful relationship issues over and over again, as she did with me (and boy did I learn a lot through that!) She always said that she was "from where you are from", and I always knew she was not. And by 'where from' I mean not one place, one world, but more a state of being; a kind of wanderer, if that make sense. But now I am realising that she is more likely a wanderer who perhaps has no bearings at all, even amongst wanderers. Her ego/mind expresses things in terms of 'who is best', and I think you have given me a clue how to rethink my communications with her, so my thanks.

To be honest, I see many just sort of 'give up' and don't see a place to express their familiar mode of being. 'Fitting in', in an acceptable manner, is an interesting choice because it involves an acceptance of something necessarily alien, but also legitimate 'way'. There was obviously something 'perfect' (in time/space anyway) about this particular situation that led to the incarnation decision.

I could never 'fit in', and it was always so obvious throughout my life here, painfully so more often than not. I expected things to work the way I felt they should, but when I showed others how 'things worked' it led to mass panic in those around me - yes, literally! As to giving up, the only way I could see of giving up was to end my life, but I laughed at that idea as I know how foolish it is. Yes, there is something 'perfect' about it all, and while I cannot see it clearly in my human thought state, I know in my moments of clarity and oneness that it is so. That gives me great comfort, and I express my thoughts in the hope that some of what I say may comfort others too.