08-18-2009, 02:42 PM
Hi Whitefeather, Ali and Richard
I really admire your positive attitude, at least the way you express yourself here on this forum. I have aspired to attain the mindset that you seem to express, but it still eludes my understanding. Even now, I find myself disagreeing with your posts, a number of the details and statements you make. But essentially, I feel I am missing an understanding.
As I've said, I've meditated and studied on these issues for about six years now, which admittedly is not that long compared to some people who have been aware since the Ra teachings in the '80s, etc. When I hear people such as yourselves make statements that we have total creative control over our life experiences and choosing what energies come into our lives, I simply DON'T SEE THAT in my life experiences. It is a beautiful idea, and I feel in my heart that it is correct on some level, but all I can say is that I have intentionally cultivated a calm, fearless, observer mindset, and frequently affirm abundance, healing, light etc in all of my actions. However, my experience in my life has been what I would call a "struggle", basically for as long as I can remember, with very little relief. I have consciously decided to "release the struggle" SO MANY TIMES over the years, but a month or two later, I find it is still with me. That is the pattern. No matter how positive I feel about things personally, the heaviness always creeps back in, and I have to be very vigilant to not allow myself to become deeply depressed or despondent.
Ali, obviously whatever happened to you in 1995 shifted you away from your previous perceptions. Still I wonder what experiences you had that taught you that you actually have creative control over your existence? I have done sigils, affirmation tapes, "treasure maps" ala The Secret, visualizations, all towards releasing fear and attracting abundance and like-minded friends, and as I've said before I find myself at this point living in the middle of nowhere, making about a thousand bucks a month in a dead end job. And this is after years of meditating and affirmation work, not to mention two college degrees! So, it certainly confuses me, but again I salute your mindset and appreciate its positivity. I would simply love to have such experiences in my own life.
T
I really admire your positive attitude, at least the way you express yourself here on this forum. I have aspired to attain the mindset that you seem to express, but it still eludes my understanding. Even now, I find myself disagreeing with your posts, a number of the details and statements you make. But essentially, I feel I am missing an understanding.
As I've said, I've meditated and studied on these issues for about six years now, which admittedly is not that long compared to some people who have been aware since the Ra teachings in the '80s, etc. When I hear people such as yourselves make statements that we have total creative control over our life experiences and choosing what energies come into our lives, I simply DON'T SEE THAT in my life experiences. It is a beautiful idea, and I feel in my heart that it is correct on some level, but all I can say is that I have intentionally cultivated a calm, fearless, observer mindset, and frequently affirm abundance, healing, light etc in all of my actions. However, my experience in my life has been what I would call a "struggle", basically for as long as I can remember, with very little relief. I have consciously decided to "release the struggle" SO MANY TIMES over the years, but a month or two later, I find it is still with me. That is the pattern. No matter how positive I feel about things personally, the heaviness always creeps back in, and I have to be very vigilant to not allow myself to become deeply depressed or despondent.
Ali, obviously whatever happened to you in 1995 shifted you away from your previous perceptions. Still I wonder what experiences you had that taught you that you actually have creative control over your existence? I have done sigils, affirmation tapes, "treasure maps" ala The Secret, visualizations, all towards releasing fear and attracting abundance and like-minded friends, and as I've said before I find myself at this point living in the middle of nowhere, making about a thousand bucks a month in a dead end job. And this is after years of meditating and affirmation work, not to mention two college degrees! So, it certainly confuses me, but again I salute your mindset and appreciate its positivity. I would simply love to have such experiences in my own life.
T