As I keep reading I can just feel the knot that you have within yourself. It pains me. I have had a knot myself so I can say that I know what you go through. As we discuss and as I have read many of your earlier texts on this forum it reminded me of a quote by the q'uo. I have decided to share it as a gift. It helped me alot.
q'uo:
q'uo:
Quote:There is release from the tyranny of the mind. There is acceptance of all of the imperfect-seeming self by a love so great that it has called you and the creation into being.Why dont you come over here instead ? It is a much nicer place to be at. Come and open your heart brother. You are welcome.