07-07-2009, 09:29 PM
Yeah, it's an ugly thought - in many situations one must not be "fluffy and nice" or one will not be taken seriously. And how did we come to a point where "nice = fluffy and naive", anyway? Somehow one's perceived IQ drops when one is careful with words. It's like thinking all blonds are stupid or all Mexicans are lazy. Ick.
On the other hand, I really don't enjoy the social gatherings of healers and/or other gifted people in my local area for just this reason. They all seem to have taken on this super soft-spoken demeanor and do not seem to laugh easily. Joking and humorous sarcasm are out of the question. I certainly wouldn't call their intelligence into question; I know these folks are anything but "fluffy and naive" but then again they're just a little too "nice" for my tastes. Interestingly, our local pagan gatherings are the opposite; these folks know how to relax with one another, even when they're gathered for serious purposes.
I don't know how I come across in writing, but in person I'm quite outspoken and often boisterous; I throw my head back and laugh out loud (or giggle madly) when something strikes me as funny -- sometimes I can get downright silly. I rarely curse, saving such words for times when emphasis is necessary; a little well-placed shock can go a long way.... The classes I've taught have always been filled with laughter, the materials being presented with humor and in plain speech. I've striven to provide an atmosphere where anyone - outspoken or shy - can be comfortable, and I believe I've been pretty successful in that regard. So I do understand where you're coming from. Still, what would it cost for people to be more mindful of what they say, how they say it, and how their words might affect others? Compared to the possible gains?
When I speak out of anger, the release might (usually does) feel good, at least temporarily, but that's definitely a self-serving act on my part - it sure doesn't serve the recipient of my angry words, and it has more potential toward escalating the situation than resolving the conflict. The cost of such an exchange is too high to not mindfully strive toward a more constructive response. But - again - for me, I perceive this as part of a larger picture; I believe that interpersonal communications must improve if humans are to move forward along their spiritual evolutionary path during this time of transition.
plur
On the other hand, I really don't enjoy the social gatherings of healers and/or other gifted people in my local area for just this reason. They all seem to have taken on this super soft-spoken demeanor and do not seem to laugh easily. Joking and humorous sarcasm are out of the question. I certainly wouldn't call their intelligence into question; I know these folks are anything but "fluffy and naive" but then again they're just a little too "nice" for my tastes. Interestingly, our local pagan gatherings are the opposite; these folks know how to relax with one another, even when they're gathered for serious purposes.
I don't know how I come across in writing, but in person I'm quite outspoken and often boisterous; I throw my head back and laugh out loud (or giggle madly) when something strikes me as funny -- sometimes I can get downright silly. I rarely curse, saving such words for times when emphasis is necessary; a little well-placed shock can go a long way.... The classes I've taught have always been filled with laughter, the materials being presented with humor and in plain speech. I've striven to provide an atmosphere where anyone - outspoken or shy - can be comfortable, and I believe I've been pretty successful in that regard. So I do understand where you're coming from. Still, what would it cost for people to be more mindful of what they say, how they say it, and how their words might affect others? Compared to the possible gains?
When I speak out of anger, the release might (usually does) feel good, at least temporarily, but that's definitely a self-serving act on my part - it sure doesn't serve the recipient of my angry words, and it has more potential toward escalating the situation than resolving the conflict. The cost of such an exchange is too high to not mindfully strive toward a more constructive response. But - again - for me, I perceive this as part of a larger picture; I believe that interpersonal communications must improve if humans are to move forward along their spiritual evolutionary path during this time of transition.
plur