(01-07-2009, 05:06 AM)Travis Wrote: I used to obsess over the 51% graduation requirement, I was fearful of polarizing STS or not making the grade but luckily I was given some wise thought:
"If your actions are motivated by fear and guilt, are any of them truly STO?"
and..
"Why do people cheat on exams? Fear of not "passing"?
When someone acts out of fear to achieve a desired goal, is this not just "cheating", even when it comes to graduation?
As a teacher, would you pass a student that cheated on the final exam? Even if his heart is in the right place?"
I still struggle with this fear, I think it is a priority to be released. I think this fear hinders my ability to unleash my full radiance and service. However, ultimately, we cannot stop the upward journey and whether we graduate this time or not, its ok because we eventually will get there, no matter what!
Now given that we are here and due to the seniority of vibration for incarnation we have earned our right to be here because we are ready to be harvested if we so choose. If we are on this forum then its a pretty big certainty that we have made our choice of polarity.
Now one could label certain actions STO or STS but ultimately it is the purity of intention behind the action that counts. Being STO means that we recognize that All is One and what we do affects All and so we agree to work with and for and not against All. Actions (within the mind as thoughts and without in the material world) are themselves are only part of STO, being is the other.
I feel that moving more and more into the heart and becoming more unconditionally loving and forgiving while bringing wisdom to oneself through meditation will turn one into a radiant being who by their very being will be serving others. Just imagine the STO one such person would be doing, imagine the 360 degrees of omnidirectional waves of loving vibration being giving off the majority of the time from that person, washing over all others. With such a person, their actions, by their very nature of being a loving, radiant entity would be STO because that is where the entity is coming from.
So at least in my case I just have to let go of numbers and making the grade and just become the most loving and wise entity that I can because it feels right, it feels good, it brings myself and others joy and if that life allows me to graduate, awesome, if not, that's ok, I will still feel good about the life I led and with the headway I've made in this lifetime in conjunction with my previous lifetimes I will be in a great place to start serving others on whichever 3D planet I end up on.
Travis, you are not alone! I think most of us have probably struggled with this at one time or another. Even those who believe in being 'saved' and going to 'heaven' struggle with whether they are actually 'saved' so it seems to be a very common concern.
I used to think (rather smugly) that being harvestable was sort of a given, since concern for others and the ability to forgive others usually came naturally for me. But then I read (re-read - how did I miss it the first time?) that loving SELF is also a requirement for harvestability!
Uh oh! Yikes! Forgiving others was relatively easy for me...but wait! You mean I have to also forgive MYSELF!?
Needless to say, I was very disconcerted!
Forgiving myself has always been extreeeeeeeemely difficult for me. I have always struggled with that alot.
Then, to make matters worse, I read in a later Q'uo session that the lower chakras must be balanced in order to have the heart chakra fully open.
Yikes again! I realized I had sort of bypassed some stuff to be loving towards others. And I had health issues which surely meant that there were energy blockages, right?
Suddenly, the world was spinning, and what I thought was a given turned out to not be so certain after all!
Add to that concerns about world events, and I actually thought maybe the Harvest had happened without me!
This happened about 10 years ago...and I struggled with issues of fear and abandonment for several years. This was way before I'd ever connected with any other students of the LOO, so I had no one to discuss my concerns with. I'd shared a lot of the teachings with my husband, and during the time I was going thru these fears, he thought I had just traded fear of hell for fear of not being harvested...neither of which was very healthy!
It was re-reading the books, and later Q'uo readings, that helped me finally let go (for the most part) of those fears. I realized that fear itself was the culprit. Those STS nasties had gotten a toehold, and they were so sneaky that I hadn't even noticed!
The LOO makes it very clear that each entity will end up where they are the most comfortable...and with plenty of love and support. Nothing at all like the religious views of being cast out/abandoned to a fiery place of eternal torture!
Remember, it is exceedingly difficult to be harvested STS. You'd have to really work at it! Q'uo even said that most of us here, by nature of the very fact that we ARE here studying the LOO, pretty much rules that out!
The STO 51% requirement gives us a lot of wiggle-room. I think it's quite generous, actually! Though I still contend that it's not actually in terms of actions being tallied (as in, add 4 acts of kindness versus 3 acts of selfishness, etc.) but is the closest to a numerical translation Ra could give, for something that might not be quite so mathematically tangible. How do crystallization and walking the Steps of Lights get translated into mathematical terms? I don't think it's quite that cut-and-dry.
That's not to say that we can just sit back and assume we've got it covered. We ARE here at a very special time in the Earth's evolution...and, as you said, we got here by seniority. That means we have the best chance of polarizing. So, it behooves us to really appreciate the fact that we are even here at all! Just think of all those souls who missed the chance to incarnate during this time! They are automatically stuck in 3D for the time being...
I think you have a good perspective about it...to let go of the fear and realize that wherever we end up, it's where we need to be.
I agree that intentions are very important. Remember that Hitler did not get harvested 4D negative because he was so confused? He had good intentions mixed in...he honestly thought he was serving his people. So look at this man, who most people think is the epitome of evil, and even he was actually mixed polarity! (Though his soul did end up having to undergo some intense healing...something about the personality disintegrating...).
Another thing that has helped me was the technique described in one of the Q'uo readings (which I am trying to find, so if anyone finds it, please let me know, ok?) in which negative emotions (fear, anger, etc.) are brought up into the heart, with the intention of transforming them into love.
This is a very powerful technique! I use it frequently. That, combined with the idea of looking for and finding the love in every situation...wow, they have helped me so much! That's what I love about the Q'uo readngs...they offer so much practical advice!
It sounds to me like you are doing great, Travis! Take a deep breath and give yourself a hug...
Namaste