05-17-2022, 02:33 PM
I can only speak from my experience and give my perspective and by no means do I say this is end all be all and all pervading truth, it only hold true for me. But I come from an additive personality and doing things that have not been healthy for me or the ones around because of my impulsive additive behaviors, so I might be able to shed some light.
There are 4 Instinctual fountains placed within us at our human creation, food, sex, sleep and survival. I personally don’t know of anyone who has all 4 perfectly regulated and the only ones I know who have them under conscious control are swamis and some monks. With that being said we need to regulate them and work with them. Trying to control them will only bring much suffering for most of us. As you stated that this has been going on for years so you have ingrained these habits or grooves into your mind very deeply. So it is very easy for your mind to travel in these deep grooves and for energy purposes it’s quite easy. When you are trying to do creative things and put your mind else where it’s hard for your mind to travel in these grooves because they are shallow and the connection is not as strong as the ones you created that cause you suffering. You need to be easy with yourself and take small steps. Set easy goals at first, maybe 2x a week, then 1x a weeks and maybe 3x times every two weeks, you see where I’m going. Be patient with yourself. I have gone very long without sex of any kind due to my Sadhana and put very strict disciplines on myself. I learned to have dialogue with my mind. Even if the wind blew on my skin I would get aroused and have sexual thoughts. Sex starts in the mind first where as the other 3 fountains start in body. When I would become aroused I would talk to my mind and say, it is not time for sex, remember when we get home in x amount of days we can make love to our wife but we cannot right now. Some days my mind would listen right away and some times I needed to have longer talks, Speaking kindly to my mind. I also talked to my mind before I slept so that it wouldn’t give me sexual dreams and release my seed in my sleep.
When we fall short of our goals especially ones where we are trying to better ourselves we can be extremely harsh on ourselves, damming ourselves and saying all kinds of awful things. All we can do is practice, practice, practice. It’s impossible to practice and not see results, the results may be slow but it is still results. You need to ingrain new habits into your mind and stop damming yourself for your sexual wants and or needs. Learn to regulate them, they are a huge part of you. Start telling yourself a new story on what sex means to you, what ever you want it to mean make it your mantra and it to will Ingrain into your mind. The other part of you that isn’t so pleasant will also be there and be a part of you except it and learn from it, don’t push it away.
If you have sought much help elsewhere and have been to a couple 12 step programs im sure you have heard 75 percent of this before. Maybe you need to learn how to decide and stick to your decision, create will power all while being gentle with yourself.
There are 4 Instinctual fountains placed within us at our human creation, food, sex, sleep and survival. I personally don’t know of anyone who has all 4 perfectly regulated and the only ones I know who have them under conscious control are swamis and some monks. With that being said we need to regulate them and work with them. Trying to control them will only bring much suffering for most of us. As you stated that this has been going on for years so you have ingrained these habits or grooves into your mind very deeply. So it is very easy for your mind to travel in these deep grooves and for energy purposes it’s quite easy. When you are trying to do creative things and put your mind else where it’s hard for your mind to travel in these grooves because they are shallow and the connection is not as strong as the ones you created that cause you suffering. You need to be easy with yourself and take small steps. Set easy goals at first, maybe 2x a week, then 1x a weeks and maybe 3x times every two weeks, you see where I’m going. Be patient with yourself. I have gone very long without sex of any kind due to my Sadhana and put very strict disciplines on myself. I learned to have dialogue with my mind. Even if the wind blew on my skin I would get aroused and have sexual thoughts. Sex starts in the mind first where as the other 3 fountains start in body. When I would become aroused I would talk to my mind and say, it is not time for sex, remember when we get home in x amount of days we can make love to our wife but we cannot right now. Some days my mind would listen right away and some times I needed to have longer talks, Speaking kindly to my mind. I also talked to my mind before I slept so that it wouldn’t give me sexual dreams and release my seed in my sleep.
When we fall short of our goals especially ones where we are trying to better ourselves we can be extremely harsh on ourselves, damming ourselves and saying all kinds of awful things. All we can do is practice, practice, practice. It’s impossible to practice and not see results, the results may be slow but it is still results. You need to ingrain new habits into your mind and stop damming yourself for your sexual wants and or needs. Learn to regulate them, they are a huge part of you. Start telling yourself a new story on what sex means to you, what ever you want it to mean make it your mantra and it to will Ingrain into your mind. The other part of you that isn’t so pleasant will also be there and be a part of you except it and learn from it, don’t push it away.
If you have sought much help elsewhere and have been to a couple 12 step programs im sure you have heard 75 percent of this before. Maybe you need to learn how to decide and stick to your decision, create will power all while being gentle with yourself.
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