(05-16-2022, 08:04 PM)Awizeking Wrote: Hello, please help me to understand. You mentioned a sobriety of 4 months. Does that mean 100 percent absence? Also when you say down to 25 days does that suggest same 100 percent absence now down to less than a week? I believe in balance in all things, I don’t think sex with ourselves in necessarily bad only porn portrays things far from truth and often does disrespect to both man an woman. But I’m sure as you have contemplated this a lot you know this all to well. Back to balance, our sexual nature is one of our strongest primitive instincts and hold great power. Some say our sexual energy is the strongest in our body and a lot of us only know how to express ourselves sexually. Sex is a wonderful thing and first we should clear up the addiction part. If I interpreted your words correctly I don’t necessarily see an addiction but I am not in your shoes. Look into Turing your sexual energy into some sort of creativity. When you feel such urges doing some activities you enjoy, art, music, working out, writing and you will be channeling that energy into other parts of your body. As anything it will take practice but it’s impossible to practice and not see some result. Please write further so we can better assist.
Thank you for your thoughts.
To clarify, yes I mean total abstinence. The vocabulary used in most of these circles is PMO. Porn, masturbation, and orgasm.
And also, yes, I have heard the perspective of masturbation not being something that needs to be avoided and thought on it considerably. I say I do hold that belief still, but that is where the aspect that is addiction comes into play. The research coming out now, and all of this is just my untrained understaning of it, describes how our minds are wired in relation to the object of addiciton and how that changes our experience of the world. Dopamine is the reward chemical. It is something that is supposed to help us feel pleasure in the great things, but also the smallest things. The breeze across our backs, the glimmer of the sun in the sky, the songs of birds, the smiles of friends, family, and strangers alike. When I have desensitized my mind's receptors for that, all of these things become duller, depending on how much and how often significantly duller.
To be plain, I had abused PMO for long periods of time, hours even tens of hours in my youth, for many or most days of the week. this is not natural in any sense, and I was using what I saw on the screen to get a constant stream of dopamine, it is quite similar to drugs when used in this fashion. When I do use it,I lack control and still binge for hours. I do it less often, but I have not shaken parts of the incredibly damaging patterns I've ingrained in my youth.
The reason for the abstinence is to let the brain heal itself. The dopamine receptors need time to resensitize, and neural pathways linked to arousal need to be changed. The research I am aware of suggests this process can take 3 months to 2 years. What I am experiencing will likely take 2 years, as internet pornography has been refined to be an extremely powerful super stimulus. Not that I am seeking to be abstinent for 2 years my personal goal is just 3 months, but I have read of others who have recovered from this addiction having problems with masturbation after only that amount of time and have it quickly lead to relapsing.
turning the energy into something creative is something I aspire to, but again I am rather unrefined in this aspect. some days are better than others. I read, I write some, and I am learning the guitar. I struggle sometimes, on the bad days. I try and turn to those things, and I can't focus on them. My mind will have strong pangs wanting to turn to what has made me feel good in the past, even if it leaves me feeling worse overall.