03-23-2022, 10:16 AM
Thank you Loki, such wise words you've spoken there and I appreciate your perspective.
I'll think about what you've said more over the coming days, I know I need to move forward and to do that I need to find the heart of this catalyst and find it's meaning. You have given me some pointers.
Ultimately, I can't help but feel time is the healer here, I have let her go in the sense that I've blessed her on and I am glad that she's out of pain and no longer struggling in the physical. But it's hard to bless myself on, I feel I have no right to be here, it's very odd. I think it comes down to the fact that me and my mother had a difficult relationship at times, although a part of me genuinely believes we worked out our lessons (karma) together, I'm still finding it hard to find my own self worth and purpose for being alive.
Maybe it's my guilt for the difficult times me and my mother went through, it's lack of self love and self compassion and not knowing how my mother feels now.
As I write this post back I can sense the confusion in what I'm trying to say, but this thread and the responses from you guys is helping a lot. I'm sure I'll find my way through this
I'll think about what you've said more over the coming days, I know I need to move forward and to do that I need to find the heart of this catalyst and find it's meaning. You have given me some pointers.
Ultimately, I can't help but feel time is the healer here, I have let her go in the sense that I've blessed her on and I am glad that she's out of pain and no longer struggling in the physical. But it's hard to bless myself on, I feel I have no right to be here, it's very odd. I think it comes down to the fact that me and my mother had a difficult relationship at times, although a part of me genuinely believes we worked out our lessons (karma) together, I'm still finding it hard to find my own self worth and purpose for being alive.
Maybe it's my guilt for the difficult times me and my mother went through, it's lack of self love and self compassion and not knowing how my mother feels now.
As I write this post back I can sense the confusion in what I'm trying to say, but this thread and the responses from you guys is helping a lot. I'm sure I'll find my way through this