03-05-2011, 02:51 PM
I greet you, my brother,
When someone volunteer to go to the third world for charity work it does not mean that this person is feeling super all the time while doing it. And I know, my brother, that this moment won't last forever and it is a dust in infinity, as this whole journey through this octave is a dust in the wind in the eyes of our totality. But nevertheless, we are in 3D now and I am actually quite thankful that this life is not 900 years long.
We have to get things off our chests and show/allow ourselves being "week" and "human" as this was the purpose for coming here and submitting ourselves to Gaias 3D terms. If we would be our true selves in this density with all our knowledge without the veil we would not serve others. By being imperfect and honestly admiting it, we show others that it is ok to be jealous, greedy, negative, arrogant etc, as this density is for that purpose. If we would be our perfect selves we would be perceived "inaccessible" by those whom we came to serve. In other words, my brother, by admiting homesickness you legitimate my own feelings of the same kind. I maybe passing it on to someone else and legitimate their feelings and so on. I had worst attack ever, couple of days ago, and was struck by its intensity for about 30 hours. I've always had these attacks, but thought that they would ebb out after I found the Ra material. Oh how wrong I've been! I know I will come home eventually, but having some few left-overs from PTSD does not help.
PTSD symtoms that I've had was severe. Now as I consider myself recovered (more or less anyway) they are not that severe. Here they are if that helps:
1. No memory of "unimportant" minutae stuff in every day life, like if someone asks you to bring them glass of water, you answer yes, but forget about it in the same second. On the other hand you remember stuff in every single detail that most people do not have any memories off at all, like past lives and childhood.
2. Flashbacks, which are memories played out as visions in your inner sight during the day while you are awake, accompanied with feelings and emotions attached to these memories. These visions used to be of my worst experienced moments. It was nightmares I had endured played out every day without my control. Nowdays it is "pleasant" memories of better days I had long time ago. Though it is joyful moments they too bring deep sorrow, as these moments are forever gone and will exist only in our memories, which in turn brings extreme homesickness.
3. Severe trust issues against all humans as I could not see the Creator in such horror and disharmony.
4. Inability to relax as you always wait for the worst disaster to happen. Now or... now! It will happen right now!
5. Deep depression with strong, romantic longing for the death's release overlaped with deepest pain and suffer in your inner essence.
6. Inability to focus on the present moment, always seeking for something beyond here and now, which is almost always your home.
7. Inability to concentrate.
8. Inability to express your feelings due the trust issues with humans.
There are probably more stuff that I don't remember now, but the above was the worst. As you see these symtoms, they are also not only psychological but exists in our being as Wanderers. These symtoms could be experienced by anyone who leaves its home for "charity work in the third world". Why do you consider PTSD anyway?
Your walk-in Being, is It veiled? Are you two taking turns in "speaking" sometimes or does It only "observe"?
When someone volunteer to go to the third world for charity work it does not mean that this person is feeling super all the time while doing it. And I know, my brother, that this moment won't last forever and it is a dust in infinity, as this whole journey through this octave is a dust in the wind in the eyes of our totality. But nevertheless, we are in 3D now and I am actually quite thankful that this life is not 900 years long.
We have to get things off our chests and show/allow ourselves being "week" and "human" as this was the purpose for coming here and submitting ourselves to Gaias 3D terms. If we would be our true selves in this density with all our knowledge without the veil we would not serve others. By being imperfect and honestly admiting it, we show others that it is ok to be jealous, greedy, negative, arrogant etc, as this density is for that purpose. If we would be our perfect selves we would be perceived "inaccessible" by those whom we came to serve. In other words, my brother, by admiting homesickness you legitimate my own feelings of the same kind. I maybe passing it on to someone else and legitimate their feelings and so on. I had worst attack ever, couple of days ago, and was struck by its intensity for about 30 hours. I've always had these attacks, but thought that they would ebb out after I found the Ra material. Oh how wrong I've been! I know I will come home eventually, but having some few left-overs from PTSD does not help.
PTSD symtoms that I've had was severe. Now as I consider myself recovered (more or less anyway) they are not that severe. Here they are if that helps:
1. No memory of "unimportant" minutae stuff in every day life, like if someone asks you to bring them glass of water, you answer yes, but forget about it in the same second. On the other hand you remember stuff in every single detail that most people do not have any memories off at all, like past lives and childhood.
2. Flashbacks, which are memories played out as visions in your inner sight during the day while you are awake, accompanied with feelings and emotions attached to these memories. These visions used to be of my worst experienced moments. It was nightmares I had endured played out every day without my control. Nowdays it is "pleasant" memories of better days I had long time ago. Though it is joyful moments they too bring deep sorrow, as these moments are forever gone and will exist only in our memories, which in turn brings extreme homesickness.
3. Severe trust issues against all humans as I could not see the Creator in such horror and disharmony.
4. Inability to relax as you always wait for the worst disaster to happen. Now or... now! It will happen right now!
5. Deep depression with strong, romantic longing for the death's release overlaped with deepest pain and suffer in your inner essence.
6. Inability to focus on the present moment, always seeking for something beyond here and now, which is almost always your home.
7. Inability to concentrate.
8. Inability to express your feelings due the trust issues with humans.
There are probably more stuff that I don't remember now, but the above was the worst. As you see these symtoms, they are also not only psychological but exists in our being as Wanderers. These symtoms could be experienced by anyone who leaves its home for "charity work in the third world". Why do you consider PTSD anyway?
Your walk-in Being, is It veiled? Are you two taking turns in "speaking" sometimes or does It only "observe"?