Integrating being a Wanderer into 3D life

[Vestige]

There's a reason why martyrdom is a problem when seen as a solution.

84.4 Questioner: The instrument asked the following question: Ra has implied that the instrument is on a path of martyrdom, but since all die are we not all martyr to something? When, if ever, does martyrdom partake of wisdom?

Ra: I am Ra. This is a thoughtful query. Let us use as exemplar the one known as Jehoshua. This entity incarnated with the plan of martyrdom. There is no wisdom in this plan but rather understanding and compassion extended to its fullest perfection. The one known as Jehoshua would have been less than fully understanding of its course had it chosen to follow its will at any space/time during its teachings. Several times, as you call this measure, this entity had the possibility of moving towards the martyr’s place which was, for that martyr, Jerusalem. Yet in meditation this entity stated, time and again, “It is not yet the hour.” The entity could also have, when the hour came, walked another path. Its incarnation would then have been prolonged but the path for which it incarnated somewhat confused. Thusly, one may observe the greatest amount of understanding, of which this entity was indeed capable, taking place as the entity in meditation felt and knew that the hour had come for that to be fulfilled which was its incarnation.
It is indeed so that all mind/body/spirit complexes shall die to the third-density illusion; that is, that each yellow-ray physical-complex body shall cease to be viable. It is a misnomer to, for this reason alone, call each mind/body/spirit complex a martyr, for this term is reserved for those who lay down their lives for the service they may provide to others. We may encourage meditation upon the functions of the will.

I interpret this to mean the direct loss of life as part of service.  For Jehoshua, or Jesus, his dying on the cross was a necessary element to his service and to his whole incarnational plan.  For Carla, martyrdom was not a necessary element, as Ra alluded to several times in their sessions, but yet her love for Jesus the Christ and her willingness to lay down her own life was a key to the Ra contact.  

I wasn't trying to allude to martyrdom per se.  Might I be willing to die in service?  Sure.  However, I was more so alluding to a willingness to, in general, 'walk the walk,' to express what I think are authentic elements of my personality and my whole being and accept whatever consequences arise as a result.  I don't expect death so much as I expect some harassment, if I were to hold to a somewhat radical expression of my beliefs.