I have written this while distressed

[Sacred Fool]

But more than likely it is delusion. I just have nowhere to post this. Behind this I am behind my own eyes, prayng to Laitos, praying to Yadda, praying to Ra. Praying for Darkness to be revealed to me. Praying for Darkness to make sense so that I may relate to other humans. The Light is GOOD. But we have been deceived somehow, I am not smart enough to know. I have somehow been deceived into the belief that the light is good, but the Darkness is Truth, and that its Truth somehow...

The good news is that none of us are smart enough to know.  Our task here, Confederation sources say, is to become stretched out to the place where we realise this.  Forward movement is not found by conscious planning...or else you'd be there already.

 

The challenge is not to know the way forward rationally, but to find within you--hidden in the turmoil--the level of awareness of self which you are now ready discover.  You may find darkness and lightness, but that which will truly meet you and satisfy you is the experience of self hidden in this hall of mirrors, held behind the layers of Maya which show you just little flickers of your deeper self.  Seek the fullness of self, not the flickers.