06-27-2021, 06:11 PM
Some problems are best left without consideration of STS vs STO.
When a person we love is in pain or has a negative behavior pattern, it can be very very hard to watch. We want to help. The best you can do is to be completely honest and open in a non-judgemental way about what you believe to be the situation and your willingness to help make the situation better, and the love for all involved.
The person who you are attempting to help, may not accept help at this time, or be willing or able to see the situation thru the eyes of those close to them.
Once the person has denied help, then you have to make a choice, what is in your own best interest. Not for you, but so you can be there again in the future to offer an opportunity for healing. If you allow yourself to be caught in the chaos which certain individuals seek out and bring with them, then it will stagnate your own growth and potential to be who you truly are.
One aspect which can be hard to accept, is that since we create our own reality, then your mother, and everyone else with distortions commonly labeled mental illness, is creating that reality for themselves. This means at some level there is a lesson they are attempting to learn in that reality. It is not for us to try to figure out the lesson and learn it for them. All we can do is love and accept them and their distortions and forgive them for the pain they bring into your life and others. This pain may, or may not, be deliberate, but it doesn't matter either way. You can forgive and love them all the same, and be ready to help when they are willing to accept it.
Just prepare yourself that as much as you desire to help, they may not be ready in this life for it. That is ok too.
When a person we love is in pain or has a negative behavior pattern, it can be very very hard to watch. We want to help. The best you can do is to be completely honest and open in a non-judgemental way about what you believe to be the situation and your willingness to help make the situation better, and the love for all involved.
The person who you are attempting to help, may not accept help at this time, or be willing or able to see the situation thru the eyes of those close to them.
Once the person has denied help, then you have to make a choice, what is in your own best interest. Not for you, but so you can be there again in the future to offer an opportunity for healing. If you allow yourself to be caught in the chaos which certain individuals seek out and bring with them, then it will stagnate your own growth and potential to be who you truly are.
One aspect which can be hard to accept, is that since we create our own reality, then your mother, and everyone else with distortions commonly labeled mental illness, is creating that reality for themselves. This means at some level there is a lesson they are attempting to learn in that reality. It is not for us to try to figure out the lesson and learn it for them. All we can do is love and accept them and their distortions and forgive them for the pain they bring into your life and others. This pain may, or may not, be deliberate, but it doesn't matter either way. You can forgive and love them all the same, and be ready to help when they are willing to accept it.
Just prepare yourself that as much as you desire to help, they may not be ready in this life for it. That is ok too.
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