Depression and Accepting or Resisting Futility

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I think depression is just feelings you don't wanna feel, so you numb yourself and feel nothing. I'm sick of feeling the same painful s*** over and over again, so all I feel right now is disappointment.

Yup. When you always feel like crap, or feel hurt, inadequate, at fault, weak, or any other number of emotions without end, then you become numb.

Depression is the ironic simultaneity of being numb while feeling too much.

The only way out is thru. You have to let yourself feel what you are avoiding and really work on yourself at a deeper level then most people even know is possible. Your emotions have momentum as well, this momentum can be overcome.

I don't have time to go into it right now since I am at work, but I think I will write a new post about the dark night of the soul, maybe this weekend but I want to refresh some concepts so I can do the subject justice.

I have BEEN going through it and am nearly out. I am MOSTLY not depressed and feeling better. But sometimes the feelings of pain come back up when I really revisit the subject. I am very tired of the pain. I have felt it fully before. It didn't go away. It still is what it is. So I just try to put it behind me and move on.