Depression and Accepting or Resisting Futility

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Like I said, it is not so much about the word but the manner in which it is used. Before saying that it is futile to attempt to change someone that does not want to, I would say it is futile to ignore what the moment is bringing to your attention so that you can change, but its not worthless either and instead there's meaning to it.

I never spoke so much of infringing actions and more of the nature of human emotions. You've stated that you want to heal, a healed state is not a state of need but a state of wholeness with yourself. Respecting and honoring free will in the deep sense is not just to not act against it, but to actually love someone for every choice they make. Not despite them, for them. It is not that you want to force their mind to change, just wanting it to be to be different means wanting someone to be who they are not.

I think you are pained because you see your attempts as worthless, when they are not. It is beautiful that someone meant so much to you, one day you'll probably see a gift in it that you will be thankful for whether you've had more or not, but it isn't true to say that you cannot be whole without them.

I'm pained because I see my attempts as futile. Whether or not there's any worth to them, it does not change the fact that the "village gate" will not open for me, to use Teal Swan's metaphor. Added pain comes from the fact that I don't know where or how to find another village that WILL open it's gates for me, and suicide will not get me out of this situation. It seems like I just can't win.