Hey CA, I don't think you have anything to apologize for.
That's my belief so I cannot impose it on you but as my husband says, if you are going down the rabbit hole, you gotta go all the way.
I noticed tonight I apologized twice for how my posts might inadvertently be misinterpreted. I think that is habit but it isn't accurate so I should stop typing it. Truth is I would like people to trust my intent is good and know if they are being hurt they are not catching my meaning. Perhaps I can come up with a more accurate comment then sorry because truth is I'm not sorry, for anything. Maybe for a moment at a time but the rabbit hole comes and I see it as foolish this regret, remorse. As a result of not judging myself I hold no judgement towards others. Except for maybe a moment when my ego gets me and I feel like an ass. It passes though.
Ok heres why, ready?
Here is the rabbit hole.
We planned all this s***. All these wounds, these catalyst, this is our plan. Not little "i" we think we are but big "I" we really are.
We asked for this, we decided we would hurt one another and try to become our best selves through it, be hurt and either use it to explore the dark edges of "I" or the light. No one ever has to be sorry ever.
Regret and remorse while learning ARE the catalyst. Holding on to regret or remorse is poor use of catalyst. Again the rabbit hole. Maybe you are supposed to poorly use it so you can explore parts yet unknown. There are no mistakes, just things that appear as mistakes, its all part of the plan and it is going beautifully.
Anyways we could go on and on and on with this rabbit hole but my point is you are choosing to hold on to your regret and shame and choosing to hold on to your hurt. You may be supposed to in accordance with big "I" at this time. Just like others are. Big "I"'s plan and little "i" you is just acting out the process. That's totally the rabbit hole and A OK. You just basically never have to apologize to me again for anything, nor do you have to worry about being judged by me. If others need your apology or judge you well I guess its the rabbit hole again. No harm no foul its exactly where and how they are supposed to be. You can change, they can change, i can change but we will when its time.
Im just showing you the rabbit hole like my husband showed me a few times when I slipped into ego.
Hope it helps not hurts, rabbit hole though. It will all play out as we/I/i(s) intend it to.
Sleep well
That's my belief so I cannot impose it on you but as my husband says, if you are going down the rabbit hole, you gotta go all the way.
I noticed tonight I apologized twice for how my posts might inadvertently be misinterpreted. I think that is habit but it isn't accurate so I should stop typing it. Truth is I would like people to trust my intent is good and know if they are being hurt they are not catching my meaning. Perhaps I can come up with a more accurate comment then sorry because truth is I'm not sorry, for anything. Maybe for a moment at a time but the rabbit hole comes and I see it as foolish this regret, remorse. As a result of not judging myself I hold no judgement towards others. Except for maybe a moment when my ego gets me and I feel like an ass. It passes though.
Ok heres why, ready?
Here is the rabbit hole.
We planned all this s***. All these wounds, these catalyst, this is our plan. Not little "i" we think we are but big "I" we really are.
We asked for this, we decided we would hurt one another and try to become our best selves through it, be hurt and either use it to explore the dark edges of "I" or the light. No one ever has to be sorry ever.
Regret and remorse while learning ARE the catalyst. Holding on to regret or remorse is poor use of catalyst. Again the rabbit hole. Maybe you are supposed to poorly use it so you can explore parts yet unknown. There are no mistakes, just things that appear as mistakes, its all part of the plan and it is going beautifully.
Anyways we could go on and on and on with this rabbit hole but my point is you are choosing to hold on to your regret and shame and choosing to hold on to your hurt. You may be supposed to in accordance with big "I" at this time. Just like others are. Big "I"'s plan and little "i" you is just acting out the process. That's totally the rabbit hole and A OK. You just basically never have to apologize to me again for anything, nor do you have to worry about being judged by me. If others need your apology or judge you well I guess its the rabbit hole again. No harm no foul its exactly where and how they are supposed to be. You can change, they can change, i can change but we will when its time.
Im just showing you the rabbit hole like my husband showed me a few times when I slipped into ego.
Hope it helps not hurts, rabbit hole though. It will all play out as we/I/i(s) intend it to.
Sleep well