If you activate your green-ray too early, how do you repair the damage?

[ches]

I've never actually had an NDE. Though I've had a couple of dreams where I had died, and it was exciting. Even one where I experienced God and it was blissful.

I had a "day-time" experience like that.. I was actually sitting here at the laptop (which is setup outside) and had a "hugged by life" experience, where every cell was filled with love and I saw / felt / knew the truth that we were one, we were connected to everything, all is a part of it, it was blissful, so nice. I spent 2 years trying to re-experience it with no luck, now I'm just hoping it wasn't a one-time glimpse into what's possible however what others mentioned earlier could be the reason why I haven't experienced it again - that I've got blockages.

So did you say you have tapped into intelligent infinity, or was that someone else that said that?

I called it "Download knowledge from source".. I think it's what people might experience when they tap into the Akashic records (the closest thing I could find when I was like.. woah what the heck was that? lol) .. but mine was different in that it felt like I had been given the answers to everything.. like I understood creation/life/everything, it was like a pouring of knowledge / a sharing of all that is, and in that space that I was in.. I understood it so perfectly, so clearly. Then when I got up to share it with the world... as I tried to describe it and "share it with everyone" ... it all dissipated lol and I couldn't remember anything (at the time, I thought that it was being "taken" from me). It did adjust the way that I looked at the world though, even though I couldn't describe it. My blog post about what I remember is here: The Download of Knowledge from Source

Another person on the forum referred to my experience as tapping into intelligent infinity, and that the reason why it stopped was because I "closed down my crown chakra".. which is possible too. I also haven't had another experience as full-on as that. Just smaller downloads (where I was compelled to write 2-3 hours upon waking every day for months) but nothing like that one.

It's slow going for me. I just have to rest in the energy of Love/Light from my spirit guide, and slowly that is taking care of my blockages.

As much as I was addicted to advancing and knowing everything at speed before, I'm happy to take it slowly now too. It feels like I'm starting again from scratch in a way but going too fast was a lesson, it hurt my life and it hurt my progress in so many ways because I overwhelmed myself with new information and my mind couldn't compute. System failure Reboot required I guess, and that's what I think I'm going through now, some kind of reboot where all the past stuff is released, and allowing 'life' to show me step-by-step what I'm ready for rather than trying to force the process. I do feel stabilised now but things got extremely confusing when I didn't know what was real and I'm even a little bit scared to get back into the Law of One, but feel drawn here. Now I feel like a baby re-learning things for the first time.

Yes, I've gotten some interesting messages from other beings. But I can't always take them at face value.

This is a massive problem I had as well. Do I trust my "knowing" even though it was leading me straight into the hell-fire? But I "knew" that I was right? That's the scary part. Mind is fragile. Need to work on all our s*** so that we're ready for it when it shows up.

But I have been betrayed by a number of people in my life. Life has not been fun for me at all. My breakthrough experiences were pretty much terrifying. Though there was awakening experiences as well.

I spent my whole life in angry-victim-sick-mode until that death-experience where I awoke as a new being with different outlook on life and many questions. And it felt like I was never going to experience victim-mode again ... until that Dark Night when I lost faith in my own truths and then had nothing to fall back on because "my truths, led me into danger".

But in a world where you don't care about your own reputation, when you can be authentically yourself and have unconditional love/acceptance for all... there would be no Dark Night.
The Dark Night I think comes about when you lose your reputation due to your own beliefs (not just the way "others" see you, but the way you see yourself, like - you yourself create some kind of identity that you yourself are not approving of). I hope that it's 'only on earth' where we care about such things as our "reputation to the world". But yeah here, we validate our experiences based on what "others are experiencing". Outside of this earth-experiment.. we would be free to explore all aspects of us. Here it seems we're restricted to the social-norms and when we feel compelled to step-outside of that, our programming has a tough time trying to re-write itself when the "social-norms" are hard-wired.

I also have been betrayed and this massive betrayal when I was feeling "oneness/love for all" was a big part of my downfall because - now I can't trust my own instincts. My intuition/guides whatever... put me through that. I felt like I couldn't trust "whatever was supposedly helping me" nor myself for being so delusional as to trust that others are 'just like me' beneath their mask to the world.

But how much growth do we get out of it? Out of facing ourselves. But for me, I definitely didn't want to learn that life wasn't as I saw it because it was beautiful in that state, I was full of vitality, had so much expansiveness being connected to whatever I was connected to, and so much 'purpose' because of my delusional 'mission' (which doesn't always seem delusional.. but I was getting pretty 'out there'.. even in my own mind / not what I expressed to the world). I didn't want to lose that unconditional love that I was tapped into. The world is much darker without it.

When I believe that what I experienced was "right", life is kind of awesome. When I believe that it was "wrong", life sucks and is heavy and dense. But.. I did learn how to get grounded and balanced from it. I just never saw that as a "good trait". I liked being happy/high/fun/in another realm/raising the vibes - helping others become happier, etc etc. There's so much I don't understand, but it did force me to work on my past, on all my traumas, it introduced me to the IChing which I never would've experienced, actually there's so many things that it led me to that I would never of come across if not for the unique experiences that I've had. I just still ever-doubt where life is leading me. So taking it slowly right now, re-learning at a very very slow pace.