If you activate your green-ray too early, how do you repair the damage?

[ches]

I'm thinking he's experiencing second and third ray blockage. When one moves into the open heart, or rather the courtyard of the open heart (as Q'uo and Carla have called it), all of the shadows come out. All must be loved and accepted and integrated; in the heart all things are revealed. Most of us are still doing this work. It's challenging!

My suggestion would be to keep a journal of your day. Write your feelings, thoughts, and experiences of the day. Reflect and look back on it at the end of the day, and you can start to discern where your blockages reside. This gives an indication of the work to be done. Also what Aaron said above. The silence is healing. It helps to clear our minds to see and hear and feel more clearly.

Be well, my friend! Love and Light be with you

All of the shadows did come out, it was unexpected since I was not seeing anything as not perfect - I was seeing the creation in everything - murder, rape, war, all the wrongs of the world didn't seem wrong - it was all part of it, that we all signed up for our unique roles, it was all this creation exploring creation and choosing all these different experiences to learn more of itself to love, to learn how to love deeper, to choose love in the most horrendous situations. I had unconditional acceptance/love of all of everything (I thought).  

This new catalyst, showed me there's a lot of things that I still hadn't accepted but my mind, because of the experiment maybe or because of this green-ray thing activated too early.. when faced with all the things that I didn't know that I hadn't accepted, I was convinced that I was put there for that reason - as like a jesus figure (or more like angel) - to accept the unacceptable, to forgive the unforgivable, to help when "noone else on the planet" would understand or be able to hold space or send love.

This co-worker, I was trying to "hold space" for, a safe space where he can always be safe and share anything - I said to him even if you have murdered an entire village, your are safe here". I knew he had something that he thought was really dark, and I was sent there to help.

Incest, him 'working with others' with the sole-intention to harm me (maybe even kill me), and those who would try and 'blow out the candle' of those shining the light - on purpose, with glee, for the I guess feeling of superiority or ego-boosting reasons, or their own shame - trying to put down another to build themselves up? But while I was "in it", I didn't see that part of it, that wasn't my world at all. I only saw potential, love, and was trying to provide a safe-space so that he could forgive himself and be what he came here to be, to see life as I saw life, to have a bottle of my bliss instead of living in the dark. But once I saw (via visions) that it was being done to me as well, the fear was intense, but should I trust my dreams (that were telling me to help him) or these new visions that I had never experienced before (that were showing me what he was actually doing), my whole foundations shook and everything came tumbling down. I couldn't believe that I had attracted this to myself because I was in such a good place and because I thought I was creating everything too - that kinda made things harder because it was like I wouldn't believe that I could be harmed, so I loved harder, higher, got more involved instead of getting out of there - at that stage, I couldn't.

Then my brain was like.. you are so delusional, this is really bad situation - these people belong in jail and are harming people and here you are, sending them love. Girl, you've gone completely mad.

Never in my life could I imagine coming into this, that this would happen. My brain kept flipping between "wanting to hold space for the highest good, to see them as the creator" and "holy s***, what have I got myself into here, how did this happen, why is all this happening, how did I get myself in this situation?".

I turned into a succubus to the guy that I was trying to help and then maybe there was some merging of energies or something, and I couldn't hold my light anymore because now its a "people problem".. had to go "mainstream" on myself instead of "spiritual" to try and get through it. (My lesson in this case was never become intimate with someone who you are here to help because it confuses everything, to always stay in your own integrity/values)

It brought up so many things. How do you accept incest? At the time, I accepted what he was doing because I saw us all as choosing this path, but when I started doubting myself and really seeing what he was doing as wrong, I was like.. crap, crap, crap what do I do? Is he harming his sister? Should I be reporting him somewhere? Or is this all part of creation? Was I sent here to help her or help him? My mind went cross-eyed. I couldn't work out what I was supposed to do, so I decided that I could save him (by showing him who he really was) and that would ripple-effect to save her and anyone else that he was hurting. Unfortunately - before I got a chance to do anything, once he had let out those 'secrets' to me, I became his next target of harm. Maybe he was feeling ashamed at what he had done and now had to destroy me "the one person who knows"?

I couldn't handle it though, I gave my love to hold space for his 'higher-version' to heal and ended up in the hell-fires as he cut off communication with me and spread rumours about me, and each time I was trying to "do what love would do".. forgive, accept, not play the game. But it really did a number on my mind.

I really felt like I was led there, so I definitely resonate with something being activated too early, because it wasn't a "romantic" interest, this all sort of unfolded as I saw how much pain he was in and felt that I could help - not only that I could help but that I was 'sent' to help, that I was the 'only one' who could. I held all this love for him that poured out of me. It was really delusional and crazy.

The IChing helped me see "my part in the play".. where I had gone outside of my own integrity which was my lesson to learn. If I was 'there' to help, then being intimate with him was not 'benevolent'. That I had my own issues with 'worthlessness' that I was trying to get him to fill - which was impossible for him to do. It grounded me, brought me back down to earth. And was a massive part in healing, so many lessons, so many beliefs I had to remove and rewrite. Major catalyst for lifelong healing, lots of shadows that I didn't even know were there to work on. I filled up about 200 journals, did youtube videos (mainstream-friendly, not all this crazy, trying to do it the way a psychologist would.. you know.. work on my own wounds, try and figure it out from a non-law-of-one perspective), blog posts, and lots of contemplation time trying to unscramble my crazy beliefs that I was here to help anyone, that the creator is in all, and all the while, still feeling like my role is to forgive and accept and love lol.