If you activate your green-ray too early, how do you repair the damage?

[ches]

Thank you all very much for your advice and validation and... actually for your understanding and resonance most of all. It's been a ride.

It's really comforting also that what you advice to me is the same as I would advice others going through it, so it makes me feel like I'm 'on the right path'.

Mangus, definitely true about not trusting enough to open heart, or even be joyful/happy because I now relate "happiness with shame/humiliation/harm". I think when I see suggestions - even in the Law of One material that say "send love" etc and I don't "feel" any love to send, that it kinda beckons me to keep doing the work to find my heart again because it's like, even though I've stabilised, I feel more like the observer of the game rather than the participant when there's no 'feelings' to work with. Even though it's good to not have those highs/lows anymore (no more 'overpowering anything'), just balance. (I used to think there was something wrong with me if I wasn't 'happy' hehe, so to not be in that place anymore, to just be centred and grounded and calm, is a good break from the 'always chasing the higher vibe', but... when I look at people that I love and feel nothing, and have no real passion/motivation for anything, it's kinda like.. errr maybe a little too disconnected? I like not being attached but I still want to be able to trust, and I still want to feel... but maybe it's all unfolding perfectly as designed xo

Thanks Cainite, definitely miss my feelings too, and yeah I agree about lower-chakra blockages..  I think I activated green-ray too early in my rush to advance - before 'dealing with my past (that I thought I was already done with) - very hard to navigate the world when you can't trust your own intuition and only see 'wrongness' of you but this underlying "... but I still think I'm right..." lol .. "...but if I can't talk about it with anyone, maybe they are right.. maybe it's 'me' that's delusional"... etc etc..

Thanks for that link Aaron, it had answers about 'why my illness' also returned after seemingly curing myself completely of emphysema (from death-bed to completely healed - younger and more vibrant than I'd ever felt in my life), when the trauma struck, the illness returned, albeit weaker symptoms than before probably because I still kept that 'identify' of myself of 'healed' in that particular department. These channellings could get my delusion back lol.. although I fear getting it back at the same time... and yet have the secret-banner behind me with #IWantToBelieve

Yeah I do tend to think life is actually easier now without all the emotions getting in the way, with more detachment.. and yet it kinda feels unloving at the same time. Constant state of questioning myself. Although life is easier and less 'manic' without the emotions, there is also less 'care'. Even though I do still care - about humanity - about people - about family - about all that is, I don't feel what others are feeling anymore hehe.. so it's like I'm missing an arm or antenna or something without these emotions. I used to deeply and empathetically "feel", and now it's just as if I don't even know what people or feeling or connect to them at that level at all because I'm like an empty vessel.

As I 'step quietly back in' to the Law of One teachings again, I resonate again with it all so much that it's very validating to 'come home' and I'm eagerly reading everything again, but taking baby-steps 'reintegrating' compared to before, allowing life to teach me at it's own pace, rather than trying to consume all the knowledge of the universe in one foul swoop like I used to