(07-07-2017, 12:24 PM)Diana Wrote: I don't think your post is weird at all. I identify with the general idea, though "disgust" is not the word I use. "Repulsed" is closer.
Certainly I am repulsed by pop music, and very closely related, popular culture and broadcast media. It's not just the insipidness or the dumbed-down nature of it, or any number of aspects relating to quality—there is a visceral reaction that agitates me. My guess is that it has something to do with the underlying indications of control, limitations, and programming that I think are inherent in popular media.
If I am at someone's house and their TV is on, I get a visceral reaction. Sometimes I get so agitated I have to stand up and pace. It's not just the content, which can in itself be upsetting. I think it may have something to do with the energy waves, intentions behind the content, and subliminal programming. Commercials really feel agitating. An example regarding food happened before I became vegetarian. It was around 1991. I was in Rocky Point with some people and we were going to a seaside shack for oysters. I started getting nauseated on the way and didn't know why. I began thinking of swallowing them alive after they were cut from their shells, and the sickness I felt over that was intense. I stayed in the car while the others went to the oyster shack. Another example is when I'm in a public place and I'm around parents yelling at their children or treating them without compassion. It feels sickening to me.
My reasons for being repulsed may not be the same as yours. But for me I can say it's a level of sensitivity to what is going on in this world. I personally do not have great ways to handle it. I think it's cavalier to say just love and accept suffering, for example. It's an intellectual statement. Though I realize it's possible there are beings here and on this planet so advanced they could actually, with an open heart and full empathy and sensitivity, gaze on horrible suffering with equanimity and love. There is that famous photo of the starving African child (very young) who died just before reaching the food relief station, walking alone, then crawling and collapsing, to get to the food. The photo journalist who took the photo committed suicide after that event after witnessing so much suffering. I am certainly not evolved enough to see that and not feel devastated.
There is the concept of resonance. You mentioned the primitive brain (the oldest part of the human brain, the reptilian brain stem), possibly being involved in these sorts of reactions, which makes sense because that part of the brain is totally reactive and based on the elements of the environment and survival. If this were the case, then there would presumably be some logic in your reactions. My guess is that your reactions are due to a conflict in resonance, creating disharmonies, cacophonies that "rub you the wrong way" because they are so counter to your inner being.
I have no answers as to how to resolve this conflict. What I do to deal with it is limit my exposure to this world, remain mindful and present in each situation as much as possible, and remember to breathe and stay centered in order to continue in a state of (compassionate) detachment. I just keep wrenching my focus, my inner dialogue, and my thoughts back to where I want them to be, which takes constant vigilance.
Yeah I totally relate to the sensitivity of the world. You mentioned one thing I forgot was also very repulsing to me: comercial ads. I don't know why but after I quit watching TV around 10 years ago I started being very visceraly disturbed by them. I just can't take them in anymore I have to either just remove myself from the situation or meditate on putting all my focus on something else. But I suppose the work of balancing involves working toward having a positive experience under all circumstances, not in a way that we necessarily enjoy suffering but in a way that we are not so triggered on first degree.
I too don't think it has to do with the content especially with pop music as I can certainly tolerate certain kinds of them. Iit's not about what I think about it, t's certain specific vibrations that trigger a trauma like feeling.
I have put lots of effort in the last few years trying to overcome my repulsion for so many foods, especially fruits and vedgetables in an attempt to get closer to a vegetarian diet and I have been successful to a certain degree, but there are certain things I still can't even get close to. If someone wanted to torture me, just cook some fish or any seafood right next to me and I'll tell you everything you want to hear. Just the smell is enough that I would puke after maybe 30sec of intense proximity. How silly that is when I think about it.