04-24-2017, 03:49 PM
Porn, ah porn.
One way to kill a passion in a man is to expose him to the endless lusting energies of porn.
I am going to suggest something that others might completely disagree with. But I'm going to say, take control. Don't let your husband push you around like you're a porn star, if you say no then he needs to respect that. However, he needs to see what he's doing.
Maybe the next time he tries to get you in bed, why not play along up until you get in bed, then tell him you want him to go slow, and to be passionate, to push his hands over your body and skin, and to kiss you deeply. Tell him what to do, tell him to talk to you, that you need that connection. Be honest with him.
If you want to stop his porn habits, you need to show him what they're doing to your relationship with him. Sit him down, be passive if you want or do it when he's in the mood and be abrupt, but above all, don't make it out as something bad or wrong. That might just make him close up, not many guys think watching women be mistreated in porn over and over and over will change the way they interact with women, but it ultimately does. That sexual imagery transforms the idea of 'woman' in the male mind. Pornographic imagery has been showcasing abuse, objectification, and neglect for a while now, and now that it's so widespread it's showing up in society across tons of men.
You are his equal, put your hand on his shoulder, say no, explain why. Sit him down, be honest with him, ask him to try the appointment and if he won't then tell him you need him to be less sexual (though maybe not physical) and more passionate about his physical interactions with you.
You're a human being, not a toy or object, you need more than one kind of physical connection to your loved one, you need him to calm his dick and let the blood flow to his heart lol
I was molested as a kid too, it does help fuel the need to make sense of the experience, you almost bury it in this false idea of what sex and sexual experiences are and are meant to be, it makes you somewhat unbalanced towards submissiveness or domination sometimes depending on how it's mentally processed and attached to later sexual experiences.
I really think you should sit him down and put down your foot as his wife and equal significant other, and I think you should explain to him what the problems are that you feel.
Use 'I' language instead of 'You' language, express yourself to him and help him see that you feel like he's withdrawn from you emotionally for sex, that instead of being soft with you as a lover, he's been pushy and hard on you sexually.
Help him see what you see, if you can connect to him and make him understand what you see and how you feel, you'll be able to help him help himself to treat you better.
On the flip side, don't forget to treat him with patience too. Testosterone can make a person very arrogant, stupid, and thoughtless. Remind him you love him, he needs your support the most of all.
As for the concept of Sex Addiction, I think it's more a mental issue than a physical one, he's yearning to fill some kind of hole and he thinks sex will do it but it's not enough cause he keeps wanting more (in the Ra Material this is an over activation and continued activation of the Orange chakra). The solution might be to introduce him to more passionate and deeply emotional sex (bring green ray energy into the mix to stop the orange ray activation), this way when he's around you, he'll feel fulfilled from just being in your presence and not endlessly yearn for your body sexually.
Oh hey, Cobrien beat me to it, Tantric sex, or any slow and deep sex. Change the mood, don't let him just get carried away as if he were in a porno, reconnect him to his heart by showing him how.
Some people here have a problem with teaching the man, I personally believe that if you want your significant other to be more compatible with you, they need to be taught, they need to learn. No one can teach another about their partner quite like the partner their self.
Next time you can, set a romantic atmosphere, and a slow-paced mood. Emphasize physical contact over sexual contact. The energetic connection begins long before sex begins, the sex itself should become a transfer and not something lost in the moment but deeply experienced vividly in the moment. Keep it slow to start with, and once you're both ready you'll know when to lose yourselves to each other, rather than to the sex.
On a funny note, you could make a poster above the bed next time he gets home that reads, "Make love, not sex, to me!" See if that brings the point home lol
OH, and if you want to reduce his porn watching, help him discover that he's spending too much time with porn, and not enough time with his wife. The only potential issue here is if you enjoy your extra alone time from his time spent watching porn, you'll need to adjust to him being around more often too, and further you'll need to help him not kill time through porn if you're around. That means if you catch him with porn, try to get him away from it immediately, there are better ways to spend time than watching porn.
Believe me, there really are.
One way to kill a passion in a man is to expose him to the endless lusting energies of porn.
I am going to suggest something that others might completely disagree with. But I'm going to say, take control. Don't let your husband push you around like you're a porn star, if you say no then he needs to respect that. However, he needs to see what he's doing.
Maybe the next time he tries to get you in bed, why not play along up until you get in bed, then tell him you want him to go slow, and to be passionate, to push his hands over your body and skin, and to kiss you deeply. Tell him what to do, tell him to talk to you, that you need that connection. Be honest with him.
If you want to stop his porn habits, you need to show him what they're doing to your relationship with him. Sit him down, be passive if you want or do it when he's in the mood and be abrupt, but above all, don't make it out as something bad or wrong. That might just make him close up, not many guys think watching women be mistreated in porn over and over and over will change the way they interact with women, but it ultimately does. That sexual imagery transforms the idea of 'woman' in the male mind. Pornographic imagery has been showcasing abuse, objectification, and neglect for a while now, and now that it's so widespread it's showing up in society across tons of men.
You are his equal, put your hand on his shoulder, say no, explain why. Sit him down, be honest with him, ask him to try the appointment and if he won't then tell him you need him to be less sexual (though maybe not physical) and more passionate about his physical interactions with you.
You're a human being, not a toy or object, you need more than one kind of physical connection to your loved one, you need him to calm his dick and let the blood flow to his heart lol
I was molested as a kid too, it does help fuel the need to make sense of the experience, you almost bury it in this false idea of what sex and sexual experiences are and are meant to be, it makes you somewhat unbalanced towards submissiveness or domination sometimes depending on how it's mentally processed and attached to later sexual experiences.
I really think you should sit him down and put down your foot as his wife and equal significant other, and I think you should explain to him what the problems are that you feel.
Use 'I' language instead of 'You' language, express yourself to him and help him see that you feel like he's withdrawn from you emotionally for sex, that instead of being soft with you as a lover, he's been pushy and hard on you sexually.
Help him see what you see, if you can connect to him and make him understand what you see and how you feel, you'll be able to help him help himself to treat you better.
On the flip side, don't forget to treat him with patience too. Testosterone can make a person very arrogant, stupid, and thoughtless. Remind him you love him, he needs your support the most of all.
As for the concept of Sex Addiction, I think it's more a mental issue than a physical one, he's yearning to fill some kind of hole and he thinks sex will do it but it's not enough cause he keeps wanting more (in the Ra Material this is an over activation and continued activation of the Orange chakra). The solution might be to introduce him to more passionate and deeply emotional sex (bring green ray energy into the mix to stop the orange ray activation), this way when he's around you, he'll feel fulfilled from just being in your presence and not endlessly yearn for your body sexually.
Oh hey, Cobrien beat me to it, Tantric sex, or any slow and deep sex. Change the mood, don't let him just get carried away as if he were in a porno, reconnect him to his heart by showing him how.
Some people here have a problem with teaching the man, I personally believe that if you want your significant other to be more compatible with you, they need to be taught, they need to learn. No one can teach another about their partner quite like the partner their self.
Next time you can, set a romantic atmosphere, and a slow-paced mood. Emphasize physical contact over sexual contact. The energetic connection begins long before sex begins, the sex itself should become a transfer and not something lost in the moment but deeply experienced vividly in the moment. Keep it slow to start with, and once you're both ready you'll know when to lose yourselves to each other, rather than to the sex.
On a funny note, you could make a poster above the bed next time he gets home that reads, "Make love, not sex, to me!" See if that brings the point home lol
OH, and if you want to reduce his porn watching, help him discover that he's spending too much time with porn, and not enough time with his wife. The only potential issue here is if you enjoy your extra alone time from his time spent watching porn, you'll need to adjust to him being around more often too, and further you'll need to help him not kill time through porn if you're around. That means if you catch him with porn, try to get him away from it immediately, there are better ways to spend time than watching porn.
Believe me, there really are.