(02-17-2017, 03:18 AM)Aion Wrote: As for how I feel about them all... I have been both in awe and greatly disturbed by myself, to put it simply. There are things I have seen myself capable of that are downright horrific and there are things I have seen myself do that are the epitome of service and sacrifice. It took a long time to just accept what I saw without needing to 'explain' it to myself. I stopped trying to justify things and instead looked to the feelings of what I felt and why I did the things I did. I found it was quite simple. The more I suffered, the more pain I felt, the more negativity would appeal to me. Sometimes that pain was 'not having what I want' and so was simply greedy, but other times there was genuine hurt.
My first 'fall' if you will was not of my own design. I was imprisoned and so twisted in my isolation. I became a being of war and vengeance and to this day I am still diffusing the rage and seeking peace within myself.
You could say that now the many versions of myself are beginning to approach eachother. The good seeks to help the evil, and the evil seeks to understand itself...
Very thought-provoking, Aion. After reading this, I find myself having more empathy for certain entities caught up in the STS path. And I already have a very active shield to filter out such people, so this helps balance that out. Thanks for sharing this.