Earthquake...blue flash of light.

[Kaaron]

I keep crying like a baby. I think this is another intense rebirth. It must be refining us cos I'm talking soul crying where I have to groan to fill the chasm in my chest...the vibration feels like it's scratching a long overdue itch.

This could be independent fantasy, but it's strong enough to mention:

Reading this i hear "Create the pain ...  harvest the pain"  repeating like a breath rhythm.  It's concepts, not words, and i choose "pain" over "misery" although they're both included.

Also, getting a strong impression that you are hypersensitive to the effects and that this hypersensitivity is double-edged.  If you let yourself, you'll be pulled more heavily into despair than anyone around you, which only serves whatever is happening.  

I think you can turn it to your advantage:  if you can stop the motion of your thoughts in meditation, i'm almost certain your hypersensitivity will allow you to "trace the stream to the source" and grant you a vision of "what is really happening."  Pay attention to the exact moment your thoughts kick into motion again though ... good chance that you can't trust whatever you see after that moment.

Good luck, and be well.

This is exactly it.
I just read this, yet I've been working on it and having some breakthroughs.
You're right about the hypersensitivity thing. I've always been this way and I think I'm what people call "bi-polar", though I've never been diagnosed. It kinda means that I'm good at being either God or Lucifer at any given moment.
I realized today that I have luciferian tendencies, which stem from feeling rejected by my Father not keeping in touch from age 4. Then I visited him at age 8 and realized that I could watch Rambo n Commando with him for 2 whole weeks, which made me angry at my Mother for making me follow a strict Jehovah's Witness lifestyle from birth.
So from the age of 8, I pretty much lived a life of being disgruntled and started living a double life.
I'm now trying to see that dark, hurt child who has colored everything I've felt.
The problem is he has been there so long, he's set up ways to escape detection...he doesn't want to be reintegrated n feels like he deserves justice...but really just wants to feel loved by his Dad, who died in 2001.
There are other distortions that I'm working through balancing but this one is the one that holds the reigns alot.
I think it was something that happened around age 7 that started the activation of my inter-generational thoughtform.
There is a thoughtform that has been passed on from a hurt that happened to my great-great Grandfather. Every male member of our bloodline has it and I think it's the shadow figure I saw once when I was 16.
I think it was the darkness that caused me to not speak to my Mother for 2 weeks when I was about 7. I still thought my Dad was coming back after 3 years of him and my Mother separating. He played in a band on cruiseships as long as I'd been alive, so I assumed he was on a long cruise but then she had to break it to me that he wasn't coming back. (She had told me the whole story before but my 4 or 5 year old brain didn't get it)
This, combined with the realization that I was being forced to live a life I wouldn't have to, had I been raised by my Dad, caused my personality to fracture.

"Create the pain ...  harvest the pain"
This means something to me.
I think this is their mission as the balance to the path I'm on.
I get to the point where it feels like every part of my being wants to become a nuclear bomb and destroy the universe...there is NO other thought...no love...no light...just disdain for this putrid existence.
They're feeding off the pain but I'm trying to flip it mid attack. Sometimes, when I get a glimpse of the full picture instead of the dark corner they let me see, I can reach out to the all and ask to bathe the darkness in light. It takes the fraction of a spark of light I can see to even call to the all for help. There is a deafening/blinding rage that can't be easily broken.
Sometimes pain over misery is the only option to bring myself back from the brink. Smash a fence to feel the rush of pain through my knuckles, up my arm and through my body. The reflex action of hurt can sometimes interrupt the psychic attack long enough to find a glimmer of hope or humility...kind of akin to banging the side of a stereo in hopes that the cd will skip to another part of the song and not play that same 2 second loop for infinity.

I feel that it's important to speak on these things cos I know it helps others who are going through similar polar opposites. When I read other accounts like this, it makes me feel less alone and encouraged that there are others out there enduring for the opportunity to host a new energy.

I've been meditating and trying to remember the one infinite creator in every moment. It's all that helps and I feel like something is about to give. It must be cos everything that's happening, is happening to rid the planet of this energy.
I feel blessed to atleast have an insight into what's happening to me.
I'm forever grateful to Ra and L/L Research for that.