Earthquake...blue flash of light.

[OpalE]

I keep crying like a baby. I think this is another intense rebirth. It must be refining us cos I'm talking soul crying where I have to groan to fill the chasm in my chest...the vibration feels like it's scratching a long overdue itch.

This could be independent fantasy, but it's strong enough to mention:

Reading this i hear "Create the pain ... harvest the pain" repeating like a breath rhythm. It's concepts, not words, and i choose "pain" over "misery" although they're both included.

Also, getting a strong impression that you are hypersensitive to the effects and that this hypersensitivity is double-edged. If you let yourself, you'll be pulled more heavily into despair than anyone around you, which only serves whatever is happening.

I think you can turn it to your advantage: if you can stop the motion of your thoughts in meditation, i'm almost certain your hypersensitivity will allow you to "trace the stream to the source" and grant you a vision of "what is really happening." Pay attention to the exact moment your thoughts kick into motion again though ... good chance that you can't trust whatever you see after that moment.

Good luck, and be well.