A strange path

[Minyatur]

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. It does mean the world to me.

I suppose the real questions i have right now... have i been brainwashed? Am I seeing what I want to see? Is the Law of One real? can I trust it?
I have been refusing to read it because I don't want to believe it, simply because I do not know what to believe.

I think you should read it to see if it's useful more than true, I just read it out of curiosity at first and resonated strongly with the material. Beyond truth, I think it gives healthy advice for spiritual evolution toward the positive.

Currently I've been in a stage of escapism, trying to escape from this change in perception. Looking for anything to put my mind at ease... comedy shows.. books... But it seems that as I tried to stop it, it came back stronger the questions, I have been feeling sick, every morning I am waking up and i feel sick. Sick of existence?
Trying to understand what happened to me?
Then asking what the consequences would be of telling people the truth of how I came to this perception.

I was searching myself for the answers, I was honestly confused about how to make a difference in the world, what is the right way to help other people. I've been thinking about intentions and actions. The judgmental part of society, who really needs to be helped?

I think it always start with yourself, so who really needs to be helped? Yourself, and once that is well, then you can start thinking about helping others.

What of religion? In what way does it help people? to believe in god? To believe in someone else and divert all your energies and beliefs to someone else rather than yourself? Is it for protection? control? I don't know?

In this time, I've been randomly searching some of the thoughts I've been having or not? i don't know. And connecting with old passages of text from great religious leaders.

It seems in general for the wellbeing of the planet, people have misinterpreted their meanings. How everything has been perceived literally, instead of applying it to themselves, but for some reason this has gone missing... People take it from person to person, opinion to opinion, no understanding, and gain no or little insight. Do they see what they want to see? or what people have told them to see. A infinite number of interpretations.
And I begin to see that the longer it goes on the more painful it gets. Its building on themselves? The longer the lie lingers the more people seem to get hurt?

This is my true fear, and by typing this sentence I guess I'm conquering that fear to try and do whats right. Right the wrongs?

The Law of One teaches that there is no right and wrong, there is but love/light and light/love. In this place that is a hard thing to see, and part of what makes it hard is to develop the faith required to see, how about you try to see all those things that make you feel fear in a way that you will feel differently about it all?

I personally think and believe that all things in this world are beautiful, and as such will seek to always align my gaze with that.

Are the people who are providing the illusion on this planet really concerned about pleasing the creator? or are they still using their own lies to gain control of this world? With so many lies floating around, who can you trust?

I think they are an answer to a need, just as this place is.

I've also been thinking is this reality all just a reflection of me? Am I to blame? would that help? each person, living being, rock, tree just a reflection of me? Such a thought still causes me to shake with fear. It encompasses me with guilt

It is you, it is me, you are it and I am it, you are me and I am you. We are the Creator and this is light/love and love/light. Fear is a blockage born from misperceiving your reality.

For all I know, something dreadful could happen in the next few years, months minutes. Ceasing my existence, stopping me from typing this message. Every conclusion, every thought, every step. I made lost..

Am I being unwise? I don't want to force people to do anything? But we are all afraid of being truthful? We or me?

I tend to prone balance before action, so I'd advise to seek balance before seeking to influence others.

The possibilities I have, or do I? What can you do to stop? I'm questioning whether I have any free will myself?

I see free will as a multi-layered thing. Your free will needs to contain what lead to your birth and usually that is beyond the conscious mind.

I, I, I, me, me, me? Am I the problem here? Would it have been better to just have not asked the question and lived my life like everyone else? Am I the monster?

There is no monster, can't you see the beauty in your distress? To me you seem full of love but confused about yourself and your reality. That is fine, that is understandable, and there are many paths toward finding peace and radiate this peace into this world.

It seems I'm trying to justify things looking for an answer when there is none? The deed is done, the sentence spoke. If the world doesn't descend into chaos, then maybe I may have an opportunity to help people to control their beliefs.

I think the truth is that you are and your reality is, now what you have most power upon is how you wish to feel about all of it.