Session 31 - As a Gay Man, I think Ra's take on Homosexuality is idiotic

[ricdaw]

My internal homophobia comes from primarily my parents.

They found I was involved with an older man when I was a teenager. Sent him to jail. I was emancipated. On the way down the elevator in the courthouse after judge emancipated me, my dad said "Don't come to us when you are dying of AIDS"

In the fifteen years since then we have seen each other a handful of times and I maybe get and email from them once every couple of months. I have not really forgiven them for the ordeal. But it feels like the ball is in my court now. I have come to terms with the fact that I don't have to rebuild the relationship in order to progress.

Some words of sympathy for your hard path. 

A quick tarot spread suggests pre-incarnative planning.  You choosing parents who would not accept, they choosing to be the instruments of rejection.  It is, fundamentally, two exercises in one.  One, self-reliance leading to self-acceptance.  Two, the "stretch goal" of accepting and forgiving your parents for the inflicted pain. 

In similar readings, I also suggest a thought exercise.  How has the act of rejection changed the trajectory of your life, thoughts or emotions from what they would have been had the rejection not occurred?  You can compare your life to your siblings perhaps, if you have them and if they are straight.  Or to straight friends from similar families.  Then, would you change bodies with any of them to have their lives instead of your own?

I marvel at the bravery we souls seem to have in the Afterlife when we plan these lives of ours.  It can't only be that from the Afterlife's Eternity, a lifetime seems little more than a short dream.  No, I think we know how much pain a lifetime will inflict, but we come down here anyway.  By the billions.  Such courage!

Namaste, Manjushri, Namaste!