Spazzing out..need insight..HELP!

[Glow]

Hi all, (Disclaimer:  This reads like a stream of consciousness..I was also highly emotional when I wrote it. ..please be gentle...actually, don't be gentle--pound some sense into me!)

I'm not a regular poster here, but I am going through a little bit of a crisis and need a little support or a wack on the head.  Over this past year, my life got a huge shake up--like a second awakening.  I have always followed the Law of One and considered it as the standard in which to live and perceive life by. but...last year..around the time I first posted here, I was shown something else. Something I wasn't looking for or desiring and certainly not expecting! It confused me because I really didn't find much about it in the Ra Material and I couldn't find any others in this particular community that experienced this.  (maybe I didn't look hard enough, I don't know.)  I'll just say that it had to do with the concept of Twin Flames.  I hate the term; I despise the fluffy, lovey dovey spacey sound it makes when I mention it.  but..I know what I experienced, I don't have another word to describe it, apologies. And it involved someone I have never even met in person. I had no choice but to follow concepts that were alien to me..because I had no explanation for it, no guidelines.  NOTHING.  If I thought I felt alienated before...this shot me into a different plane of experience, unto myself, so to speak. Being alone with this was, in a word, horrific. A roller coaster of dark nights and bliss, feeling unconditional love for a stranger, feeling merges in a dance of electric and magnetic bursts throughout the year.  Being guided to move 1700 miles away--something I thought I was being guided to do. Something I thought would affect a change in me to be of great service. Money was falling from the sky to support this. I felt a shift in myself, a clarity of who I really was!  but then..oh my god--AND THEN...I was told that I was pure evil...a monster...I was not of the light and that I created this deception straight out of my own ass. Oh and the reason why I  struggled my whole life with bad luck was because my own energy caused it. And the reason I can't connect with people is because my pure dark hearted nature inflicts people with fear and extreme loathing so they don't give me a chance. !!  I. Cannot. ..NO..I just can't get a grip after hearing this...It sounds silly, I'm sure, but I don't have..anyone to pull me out of this mess. Was this experience a lie?  what in the heck happened!? I don't think for one instance that I'm evil (what a silly, religious concept)--how stupid! That's not how this works. I know better, but I can't help but feel completely rejected as a soul by this...I mean the concept of who I am or who I thought I was completely collapsed and I feel this horrible sensation of emptiness..this abyss of doubt and worry like I've never felt before. SO it is..I feel I can't trust myself or my own intuition...IS there anyone out there?  Can anyone..assist me with this tangled mess?  I have cookies...or would you prefer a sandwich; cold cuts, PB&J with the crusts cut? ... :-/

Thanks in all regards.

I can relate somewhat. I met a soul connection and went on that crazy ride.
Beautiful but tormented and hard to understand or break free of from this 3d awareness.
I'm sorry you too experienced that. My reprieves come when I look from a 5d or 6d awareness.
Meditate not on the transient details. Go above.

As to the evil thing... I'm just so curious who would have told you such a thing.
We are all one, so our soul contains both the most beautiful giving purity as well as the darkness. Sometimes that darkness is needed to bring light so no judgement. Think 6d
I wouldn't worry to much about what anyone human or spirit said in judgment.

If it was a vision and not a reading from another self that told you this just remember we are all being challenged right now. New energies are stimulating us to look at ALL parts of ourselves and find balance. Either way know you are not alone.
I'm sorry you have felt so alone