Spazzing out..need insight..HELP!

[Jade]

Hey Rumpelstiltskin,

I am so sorry you went through such trauma!! I have gone through similar things so I think that maybe I can help.

As this instance was huge catalyst for you, it is obvious that the two of you had a "soul connection" - whether or not a twin flame is real, Ra never mentions (as in the concept of one soul split and incarnating as two entities?) - but Ra does mention something about Don and Carla, that: "These two entities have been as one for a timeless period and have manifested this in your space/time."

What it sounds like to me is that you had a past life karma to work out - for instance, it's possible that you rejected this other person in a previous life, so you were set up to experience the same pain/guilt/remorse - manifesting your state of being one in this space/time, so to speak.

My other piece of advice is... if you truly had the best of intentions, and someone still deems you as "evil" - well, Ra has something to say about this, too:

Ra: It is also to be noted that an adept is one which has freed itself more and more from the constraints of the thoughts, opinions, and bonds of other-selves. Whether this is done for service to others or service to self, it is a necessary part of the awakening of the adept. This freedom is seen by those not free as what you would call evil or black. The magic is recognized; the nature is often not.

Most of my blood relatives categorize me as "evil". even though I have been nothing but selfless and giving towards all of them my whole life. The fact that I have been able to stand up for myself and not be taken advantage of, has made me a terrible person in their view.

The beginning of the previous quote is this. It has to do with the Matrix of the Spirit, which is the Devil card.

80.10 Questioner: Now, the fifteenth archetype, which is the Matrix of the Spirit, has been called the Devil. Can you tell me why that is so?

Ra: I am Ra. We do not wish to be facile in such a central query, but we may note that the nature of the spirit is so infinitely subtle that the fructifying influence of light upon the great darkness of the spirit is very often not as apparent as the darkness itself. The progress chosen by many adepts becomes a confused path as each adept attempts to use the Catalyst of the Spirit. Few there are which are successful in grasping the light of the sun. By far, the majority of adepts remain groping in the moonlight and, as we have said, this light can deceive as well as uncover hidden mystery. Therefore, the melody, shall we say, of this matrix often seems to be of a negative and evil, as you would call it, nature.

Those who aren't used to activating the movements of the spirit, or "using magic", see those who are and deem them "of the darkness". It's why really repressed religious sects label things like Harry Potter as satanic - oh no!! He's using MAGIC!!! That's evil!! Well... as one becomes more aware in third density, they realize that changes of consciousness and energy exchanges ("magic") fall across the whole spectrum of polarity. You trusted yourself, your guidance, your instinct, out of love, and well... someone else had a problem with that. It's going to happen. These are big crises of faith are test for our ability to carry and sustain a wave of consciousness that is "higher". Things are going to knock us off of our rail, that's why we're in third density. Ra says the path is "strait and narrow" - just like a rail. The lesson we're learning is taking less and less time to recover, spending more time in the "high vibrations" than the lower ones. This requires careful balance, and practice. And lots and lots of compassion for the self.