02-24-2016, 12:03 PM
By fantasizing about these things, you are not interfering with anyone's free will. A celebrity/actor especially on some level agrees to this interaction by virtue of their position in this society. It's part of their experience, as well.
Whether or not it is good for you is the other question. I agree that the way you are interacting with this catalyst is the right away - again, to indulge and not repress, and let things naturally fall away when you are done with them. And it seems to me it may be getting to the point where you want to naturally let it fall away.
Are you fantasizing about control/being dominated? Because these are negative polarization desires. It's not because you want to polarize negatively, but because you have those lower blockages that cause your sexual energy to desire to be expressed this way. Repression over time and guilt has likely just intensified it, which is why Ra says not to do that. Lots of people enjoy all sorts of weird sexual fantasies, there should be no guilt about that. You haven't hurt anyone - again, unless you are starting to hurt yourself. Which means you're probably ready to let some of these things fall away.
I would really dedicate yourself to starting to work on the orange ray, as others have pointed out. I don't have any specific advice because it seems yours is quite jumbled with lots of confusing ideas about sexuality. Working on acceptance of yourself and others' unique, individual free-will choices would be a good step. You are the only one who is placing judgement on yourself right now, and it is likely quite harsh. We're in this illusion to play with the lower chakra energies with our free will. If you have enjoyed what you've been doing (again, without any direct hurt/control over another) then you should be quite pleased with yourself for following your bliss. Now it's a matter of clearing out that orange ray so that you aren't as baffled by your desires.
Whether or not it is good for you is the other question. I agree that the way you are interacting with this catalyst is the right away - again, to indulge and not repress, and let things naturally fall away when you are done with them. And it seems to me it may be getting to the point where you want to naturally let it fall away.
Are you fantasizing about control/being dominated? Because these are negative polarization desires. It's not because you want to polarize negatively, but because you have those lower blockages that cause your sexual energy to desire to be expressed this way. Repression over time and guilt has likely just intensified it, which is why Ra says not to do that. Lots of people enjoy all sorts of weird sexual fantasies, there should be no guilt about that. You haven't hurt anyone - again, unless you are starting to hurt yourself. Which means you're probably ready to let some of these things fall away.
I would really dedicate yourself to starting to work on the orange ray, as others have pointed out. I don't have any specific advice because it seems yours is quite jumbled with lots of confusing ideas about sexuality. Working on acceptance of yourself and others' unique, individual free-will choices would be a good step. You are the only one who is placing judgement on yourself right now, and it is likely quite harsh. We're in this illusion to play with the lower chakra energies with our free will. If you have enjoyed what you've been doing (again, without any direct hurt/control over another) then you should be quite pleased with yourself for following your bliss. Now it's a matter of clearing out that orange ray so that you aren't as baffled by your desires.