02-06-2016, 03:23 PM
I have an exercise for people to start the process of setting boundaries, and particularly learning to say no which is the precursor to boundary setting.
The exercise is: For one week say no to everything. You can tell your friends and family that you're doing this if you feel skittish about it. The point is to generate the great feeling of relief and inner truth when you do actually say no. It can be a game-changer. We are all busy. We all want to help others. But there is a healthy, detached balance in boundary setting that must derive from a balanced emotional state, and one where we don't feel guilty when saying no. The thing is, when we say yes and we really don't have the time or want to do the task we have have said yes to, we generate resentment and create negative energies for ourselves and others. So it does the opposite of what we are trying to do—help others. The goal is to learn to be honest but not unkind, and assess our answers without guilt or a feeling of obligation.
The exercise is: For one week say no to everything. You can tell your friends and family that you're doing this if you feel skittish about it. The point is to generate the great feeling of relief and inner truth when you do actually say no. It can be a game-changer. We are all busy. We all want to help others. But there is a healthy, detached balance in boundary setting that must derive from a balanced emotional state, and one where we don't feel guilty when saying no. The thing is, when we say yes and we really don't have the time or want to do the task we have have said yes to, we generate resentment and create negative energies for ourselves and others. So it does the opposite of what we are trying to do—help others. The goal is to learn to be honest but not unkind, and assess our answers without guilt or a feeling of obligation.
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