There are two people in this world: One isn't here

[Adonai One]

 Sorry to say Adonai One but why that avatar?   

Everyone speaks of being a wanderer:

Instead of crystals and magical clouds, I get a vision of darkskinned, unbathed beings with minimal externalized "architecture," eating rotten, fermented meat that has been buried in sand for 10 years. Nude. Public orgies happening in mass, body odor pervading every surface of every object. All so-called "technology" drenched in mud and a type of rustic antiquity you would attribute to garbage.

And they have a feeling very similar to this here fictional creature. Everyone praises the mystical, I worship the very grime that people refuse to see on their skin, the very curdled blood washing through their kidneys. THIS AVATAR IS WHO I AM INSIDE. AN ANIMAL OF THIS UNIVERSE.

My wanderer syndrome is of what most would consider horror. I seek to be shaken by what is truly real, truly grounded.

This human society is veiled. None of your so-called aliens as you envision them actually have clothes nor morals. One of these beings die and they happily let the corpses rot in front of the house as memory.

The universe isn't sterilized by Lysol and Clorox. It isn't cleaned with the varnish of avoiding everything that plagues you. This universe is ever meek and ever HUMBLE to itself. May you dare to change that.