12-16-2015, 01:42 PM
Guilt has its use as you mentioned: to bring to our attention something that needs looking at. But it can have deep and debilitating hooks into us all for one reason or another.
Guilt that originates in childhood is the worst in my opinion. And though Ra may have said, and it is technically true, that children make their own conscious decisions, I think one must look at the whole picture. Can you honestly say that a child has the tools or experience or focus to make decisions as an adult would? This is where inner child work comes in, because one cannot look back at the child one was once was and analyze as an adult with any effectiveness. We don't even have fully developed front lobes sometimes until late 20's. A child may be operating under pressures that are extreme, even in fairly good familial circumstances, without the conscious awareness that in living life one will progress and resolve things.
When I was a child I was in pretty challenging circumstances. I don't remember ever thinking that things would get better once I grew up and left home, until somewhere in my teens. So the circumstances were always there, pressuring all my decisions and reactions in a subconscious way. The way I try to look at it is by pretending I am an evolved, loving parent. How would I treat my little-girl self, what would I think of her? I would love her unconditionally. This helps to put childhood regrets into perspective.
But guilt can still have its claws in you even though you might be able to balance your thinking on its origins. Since I have had very little luck in forgiving myself, I have found a way to approach the problem sideways.
In my opinion, a good way to deal with guilt is to work on forgiving, or accepting, others. I can look out and see others acting without compassion, for instance, and I can realize that there is a huge life tapestry involved, and that this tapestry may not include the conscious awareness needed to act compassionately in the circumstances I am witnessing. When we loosen our grip on judging others, the grip loosens on judging ourselves, and the guilt begins to loose it's power.
Guilt that originates in childhood is the worst in my opinion. And though Ra may have said, and it is technically true, that children make their own conscious decisions, I think one must look at the whole picture. Can you honestly say that a child has the tools or experience or focus to make decisions as an adult would? This is where inner child work comes in, because one cannot look back at the child one was once was and analyze as an adult with any effectiveness. We don't even have fully developed front lobes sometimes until late 20's. A child may be operating under pressures that are extreme, even in fairly good familial circumstances, without the conscious awareness that in living life one will progress and resolve things.
When I was a child I was in pretty challenging circumstances. I don't remember ever thinking that things would get better once I grew up and left home, until somewhere in my teens. So the circumstances were always there, pressuring all my decisions and reactions in a subconscious way. The way I try to look at it is by pretending I am an evolved, loving parent. How would I treat my little-girl self, what would I think of her? I would love her unconditionally. This helps to put childhood regrets into perspective.
But guilt can still have its claws in you even though you might be able to balance your thinking on its origins. Since I have had very little luck in forgiving myself, I have found a way to approach the problem sideways.
In my opinion, a good way to deal with guilt is to work on forgiving, or accepting, others. I can look out and see others acting without compassion, for instance, and I can realize that there is a huge life tapestry involved, and that this tapestry may not include the conscious awareness needed to act compassionately in the circumstances I am witnessing. When we loosen our grip on judging others, the grip loosens on judging ourselves, and the guilt begins to loose it's power.
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