Mental Obstacles

[octavia]

What would you rather be doing? Our energy is focused somewhere and if it's not on what is right in front of us then it must be on something else.

Thank you for these words. This is a difficult question to answer coherently. There are things I would rather be doing, however I am not concerned with them just yet, so I put them in the back of my mind. I am not thinking so much about hobbies and crafts so much as I am thinking on a broader scale. There are certain temporary obstacles that prevent me from doing these things. Some of these obstacles are temporary within my own lifespan, and some are not. I am not concerned with them in the same way that a Freshman might not be concerned with their Senior Thesis. Then again, perhaps I am mistaken. Because although the Freshman does not begin work on the Senior Thesis, it is nevertheless wise for them to consider and work toward their Major. Unfortunately I cannot elaborate further because the things in question are extremely personal. I am fairly certain that one of the reasons I am having this life is to interact with and learn from a few specific obstacles. I apologize if this is not coherent.

from reading your first post it seems to have more to do with passion, then motivations. If i didn't read your other post i would have also said something along the lines of motivation. also i would like to add that being motivate to work and being passionate about work are two different things. Im motivated to go to work everyday, but i am not passionate about my work. From what it sounds to me is that you are no longer passionate about translating Latin. In other words you do it because u have to not because you want to. find what u want to do

Thank you for these words. I think I erroneously give the impression that I no longer care for Latin. It is instead the case that I continue to enjoy learning and interacting with the Latin language. I don't think there is anything in particular I can say to you to convince you of this. I think I give off an impassioned impression online in general, which I realize to be a difficulty in my communication. However, I nevertheless agree that it is valuable to consider the distinction between passion and motivation.
When I was younger, I had a great passion for for drawing. As I grew, I began to take this endeavor seriously. I recall working off of Andrew Loomis' anatomy textbooks, and with great frustration found that I was not truly learning, but merely copying via imitation. For a long time, the art world was a very confusing place. In highschool, we were once assigned to the task of replicating a Van Gogh painting. During one class, the professor came to my painting and said that I had ruined my replica. Yet not a few classes afterwards, he gave to me a great compliment for the painting. I was confused, as he was not one to give out empty compliments. Eventually I lost my passion for drawing. There is a similar story to be told about my relationship with the piano. So while I do still have passion for Latin, you are correct in thinking that I have lost passion for my own interests in the past.

My ability to concentrate has gone downhill as well. I think it's several things. One is the internet..it's so easy to just bounce around from this or that, cultivating a short-attention span. The other is that I'm too "in the head."  While my mind is very active, I don't feel like it really exercises my brain which brings me to the third point. Creativity! When I pick up my guitar that I used to play regularly, I get that feel-good workout sensation in my head afterwards. This also happens when I sit down to draw. So I think that kind of focus and creativity is an area that I've neglected..it's an aspect of life that I think is central regardless.

Thank you for these words. I relate to this strongly. I think that for those of us who have particularly active minds which so often manifests in the form of a short attention span, creative activities which occupy the hands are tremendously valuable. I see that I have also neglected these activities.